The Empress Wears Gucci

87

        I left the Emperor's palace with satisfaction and pain. We both left off on good terms, so why was I still in tears? I was wiping my tears off in the sedan chair, and when I walked away from the palace, I tried so hard not to look back. 

       It was hard to process as well. The Emperor knew. All this time, I was covering my guilt from keeping secrets from him, but he knew. There were so many things I was thinking about, but I let the stillness of my body take over. It was all over... I had to get over it, but it was hard. 

       The Emperor had already marked himself on my mind. He was someone that I could never forget. 

       Still, I kept my silence. It would be hard but the Emperor and I had our informal farewells. I had a lot of time on my hands but I wanted to go home soon. Besides, the Emperor wasn't the only person I wanted to talk to. I had a few others waiting for me at my palace.

      I walked the steps to the doorway. My maids quickly opened the two doors for me, and I walked in silently. I observed the people, standing there in the middle whispering amongst themselves.

        "Did we do something wrong, Your Highness?" Uncle Bin whispered.

        "Maybe this is very important... we are all close to her," Hua Yang whispered back.

        My eunuch stood beside me. "Her Majesty has arrived!"

        Hua Yang, Uncle Bin, Su Yin and the two maids that had accompanied me ever since I was a Noble Consort, quickly turned around. Their eyes widened and they immediately kneeled. Hua Yang stood because her rank allows her to. They bowed deeply. "Joy and bliss to the Empress!"

        I took a few more steps forward. "Rise."

        "Thank you, Your Majesty," they spoke in unison. 

        Uncle Bin quickly walked to me. His eyes were gleaming like he was in awe. He slowly grinned. "May I say, Your Majesty, that I am proud of you... I remember when you were just an Imperial Concubine, asking me for late-night—"

       "I thought we'd keep that between you and me," I laughed. "Uncle Bin, thank you."

       Fen Ai and Snoopy had their head down. Of course, Fen Ai was the first to look up. She took another bow and looked at me with worry. "If I may ask, Your Majesty, why have you called us here?"

       My smile faded. I looked at them with a tight-lipped smile but I cried too much. I cried so much today that I was tired. I had no tears left to cry, so I stood there like a sad puppy, observing all of my closest people here. 

       Su Yin's eyes lingered on me. Her eyebrows slanted upwards and it seemed like she wanted to reach out to me. I was going to miss her, dearly. She had a bit of Cherry's personality in her, and so did Hua Er. The gentle, kind but teasing and aggressive manner. I couldn't bear the thought that I was going to wake up one day and never see them for a while.

        Although I could visit at least once a month, I was afraid if one day, I forget to visit. One day, I won't bother... and leave them to wonder what I was doing. 

        "You all may want to sit for this," I sighed heavily and looked away. "It's a bit hard to handle..."

        They sat down on the side obediently, while I moved my way up to my throne. As I settled in, I tried my best to refrain from crying. I had too many emotions bottled up in me and I might as well be crying on my way back home. 

       My palace was silent. Hua Er was quietly sitting still on the chair near me. She didn't speak and didn't want to, because she couldn't handle this as well.