Hold Me Tight (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 19

You're alive. You're sure of it. As you slowly opened your eyes, the sunlight blinded you for a bit but you adjusted to them. You were at a hospital, judging from the beeping sounds of the machines. Then you closed your eyes again. One by one, you tried lifting each fingers and each toes, wiggling them around until you got a good feeling for them. You heard someone talking beside you.

Then you opened your eyes and turned your neck to the source of the voice. The familiar boy sat on the chair beside your bed. He had his head on his one good arm, in a praying position. The other arm was in a sling, most likely from the bullet wound.

"Dear God, or whoever you are up there, please wake her up. Please, I can't stand another day without hearing her voice or seeing her beautiful smile. And dammit, I just want to tell her I love her one last time. I never meant any of the things I said to her before. She wasn't my cleaning lady. And she wasn't a fool either, I was the fool for letting her go so easily. I just want to hold her tight." Then he sniffled. You tried moving your hand, but it took a lot of force to. It was shaking as you patted his head. He jumped a little, his head jerked up and taking your hand into his. His eyes were filled with tears when he saw your face. You could feel the bruises on your cheeks.

"Is this real?" he asked quietly, squeezing your hand and kissing it. You tried to answer, but your throat was too dry.

"W-water."

"Oh, right. Sorry." He got up from the seat and grabbed the glass of water from the kitchen area. Once he helped you sit up on the bed, he handed you the glass, holding it with you so that you wouldn't hurt yourself. His eyes never left you.

"I'm gonna go call Yoongi hyung-"

You grabbed his sleeve. "No, wait. Can we just talk for a bit?"

"Y/N, you've been in a coma for two weeks. Don't you want your brother? Instead of a stranger who did nothing but hurt you?"

"Two weeks?! It's been that long? No wonder I feel so hungry." You expected him to laugh, but he didn't. "You've been here ever since?"

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And then I'll leave."

"Because you never liked me, right?"

He was caught off guard with that statement. He lowered his head and answered, "Yes, because I never like you."

"I see. Well thank you for rescuing me. You're a good person."

"First off, you rescued me, technically. And second, you shouldn't trust me, you have no idea who I am."

"Are you okay?" you asked him, tilting your head to his sling.

"Y/N, you've been in a coma for 2 weeks. You shouldn't worry about me right now."

"Well you were shot." you argued back.

"And you were electrocuted multiple times! Why can't you just focus on yourself?" he pointed asked, his voice was raised a little bit now.

"Sorry." You felt tears coming out. Namjoon noticed immediately.

"God, Y/N, I'm sorry." He got up from the seat once more and hugged you, treating you like a fragile flower. "I didn't mean to yell." You rested your chin on his shoulder, right where you belong. "Fuck," he breathed out, "I can't do this anymore."

He pulled back from the hug and looked right at you. "Listen, I lied to you. About my feelings. It's true that I didn't like you, because I loved you. I loved you so much and I still do. I thought saying those things would make you hate me, because you should. I don't deserve your kindness or your forgiveness."