Hold Me Tight (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 23

Lay gave you a scary look. You fiddled with your hand behind your back and looked down at your feet.

"Stop pouting, I can't be mad at you when you look like this." he yelled jokingly. You giggled and ran to him, giving him a tight hug.

"I just want to help you."

"Sweetness, I told you to stay in the living room. Your brother and his roommate are going to be here soon and I want to finish this meal, by myself. I want to prove myself to them."

"Prove what?"

"That I'm better for you than....anyone else." You knew he was referring to Namjoon. Since Lay saw him last week, he hasn't brought up the topic. But you knew he felt uncomfortable with the situations. It makes it worse that you haven't told him anything yet.

"Lay, you don't have to do that. You make me happy and that's all that matters."

"Well I want the two of them to see that then."

"You're so silly." you said. He smiled down at you and stared into your eyes. You tried looking away but he held your chin.

"I love you." he whispered. You felt your heart swelling up with joy, but you couldn't say it back for him reasons. So instead, you just kissed him. He was quite okay with that since it was your guy's first kiss.

Then there was a knock on the door, interrupting the moment. Instead of getting upset, Lay excitedly pulled your hand and ran to the door. But you opened it, he asked if he looked okay, you laughed and open the door. Yoongi was wearing an all black outfit, and Namjoon stood behind him, expressionless. You didn't know why you invited him, but since the two of them live together, it would be weird to leave him out. Actually, it was Lay's idea to invite Yoongi over for dinner. He wanted to properly introduce himself. You thought it was cute.

Yoongi didn't wait to be invited into the apartment, he knew to head right into the kitchen, Namjoon following hesitantly behind. You looked at Lay, who gave you a nervous smile.

"Thanks for the invite." Yoongi said as he sat down at the table.

"Well it was his idea." you said while helping Lay bring the dishes out. He placed the plate in front of Namjoon, who only nodded. You were annoyed with the way he's acting right now.

"I thought it was time that I properly introduce myself." Lay said, with a little shy laugh. He then extended a hand to Yoongi. "Zhang Lay, nice to officially meet you. I'm Y/N's boyfriend." Yoongi shook his hand, but eyed him with one eyebrow raised. Your brother's never been to type to be social that actively goes out of his way to meet new people.

"Nice to meet you too..." he replied.

"Alright, now let's dig in before the food gets cold." you said, "It looks amazing honey." you said to Lay, who gave you a kiss on the cheek. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Namjoon watching the two of you. For the most part, dinner was uneventful. Yoongi and Lay managed to bond over basketball, andbasketball, and they're planning on watching the game after dinner. You were happy that they seem to be getting along well. Namjoon was quiet, as expected.

When dinner was finished, you volunteered to clean everything while the boys have their time together. Unexpectedly, Namjoon stayed behind to help you. You moved the dishes to the sink, and he was right beside you. While you were washing the plates, he didn't say anything, he only leaned against the counter.

"Why don't you go watch the game with the guys?" you asked, trying to sound polite. You kept your eyes on the dishes. He just shrugged instead of answering you. After you were done, you turned to leave, but then he moved to block you.

"What do you want?" you sighed, you were too tired to put up any fight.

"We need to talk, about everything." he pleaded, almost pushing you against the sink. You raised your hand to push him away.

"Namjoon, I have a boyfriend now. And he makes me happy."

"But I can make you happy too. I love you." he said, it came out almost like a sob. As you looked at his face properly, you saw his dark circles, his chapped lips, his messy hair. You heart broke at the sight of him.

"It doesn't matter. Lay tells me exactly how he feels about me. And he doesn't make me feel like I'm not good enough."

"But you are good enough."

"But apparently not enough for you. Maybe I was never enough for you. That's why you left, that's why you... were with her." You felt your tears coming out, but you bit the inside of your cheeks to stop them from falling.

"Y/N, please-"

"And it doesn't matter to me anymore. It shouldn't. I spent days trying to figure out why you would want to be away from me. And why you never came back to see me when I woke up. And why you never called me to see that I was okay. I spent so much time crying for you, and feeling absolutely worthless. And now I have found someone that will take care of me, that won't leave me, that makes an effort to stay." You gave him one final push. "So please just leave me alone." You were crying at this point, just fed up with the whole situation.

The kitchen was quiet. Namjoon was frozen in his spot, though he did try to reach out for you a couple of times, but decided that touching you isn't the best option at the moment. Just then Yoongi walked into the kitchen.

"Is everything okay here?" he asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Y/N's fine, so that's all that matters." Namjoon said, "I'm gonna go now."

"Okay, wait for me then. I have an early shift tomorrow." The three of you moved out of the kitchen and into the living room, where Lay was still sitting on the couch. He got up once he saw Yoongi putting on his shoes. Namjoon was already out the door.

"It was nice meeting you, Lay-ssi. Thank you for dinner." Yoongi said.

"I'm glad you liked it, I hope to see you again soon." Lay smiled brightly. Then the door closed. You stood far away, spacing out. You didn't even notice when Lay walked up to you. He pulled you in for a hug.

"Sweetness, are you okay?" he asked softly. You didn't answer him, instead just melting into his embrace. "I have to get going soon. I have to work early tomorrow."

"Wait." you said, trying to stop him from breaking the hug.

"Yes?"

"How about you spend the night? Lisa's at Jungkook's apartment." you asked quietly. You felt his body tensing up.

"O-okay." he answered.

It was awkward as you two were getting ready for bed. Yoongi's clothes looked so small on him, it made you laugh, and he got embarrassed. Once you two laid in bed, he wrapped his arms around you.

"Y/N." he said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"What relationship do you have with Namjoon? I know it's more than just a friendship. I saw how he was when you were hospitalized. And I was surprised to hear you say he was just a friend." You stayed silence, not knowing what to say exactly, how much you should tell. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me, I understand-"

"Namjoon and I were in a relationship when I was in high school. It was a long time ago. He said it would be better if we're just friends, and that's what we are now."

"And do you still love him?"

You laid your head on his chest, closing your eyes. "That doesn't matter anymore. I love you."

As you fell asleep, Lay watched you, his eyes filled with worry and uncertainty.