Famous

23.

Blaze's POV
Today feels kind of weird, I'm spending the day just at home, nothing more. It's weird to not be in company of Billie, Finneas, Micah and the others. I was so used to it, but it's also good to be spending some time with Vicky at the other hand. I did miss her.

"What are we doing today?" I ask Vicky while taking some fruit and a cup of coffee for breakfast. "I'm gonna be painting today, I don't know about you." She answers without looking up from the canvas she's working on.

"What's gotten to you?" I ask. "Nothing." She simply says, still not looking up at me. "And I just have to believe that?" I ask her, raising an eyebrow at her. "You believe what you want. I don't care."

"Alright, I'm gonna go for a run  and do some work out and hopefully by then you can explain me what's up and we can actually talk." I tell her before running up to my room, where I switch in my running outfit and leave.

I decide on taking a long tour, because it's been a while since I could go for a run and I only have a week before we're back on the touring grind for another month, so it'll be good for my body to get some sport now that I can. I mean performing is a whole work out too, but still.

While running I start thinking back at the argument I had with Vicky. Seriously, why is she like this?

What did I do?

Is it because of Billie?

Is she jealous? I mean why would she be jealous? It's not like we're dating or that she's even gay. She's been straight since the day I've known her. Could she have a crush on me and be jealous of whatever Billie and I have? I mean, could that ACTUALLY be true? Nah, it can't, what am I thinking. The fuck.

I shake the thought off and let the music take my mind away.

When 'When the party's over' comes on next, I feel my head getting very heavy, thoughts of Billie singing this song and singing it with so much emotions fill my head. Thoughts off Billie switch to thoughts of Robin. Fuck I miss him.

Tears start to fill my eyes thinking about him. I have to stop running and when I do the tears start to run down my cheeks. I haven't had a break down about him this bad in a while. He would've been so proud of Oscar even though he didn't want a kid. He would've been so proud of Vicky for fighting for Oscar like this, he would've been so proud of her for fighting to get back to 'normal'. He would've been SO proud.

I wish I could've said goodbye to him, to hug him for one last time, to get him back. It's been almost 3 years since he's been gone.

Shit.

Today it's exactly 3 years ago that he left us.

That's why Vicky is like this today, because I didn't think of it. She thinks I'm a selfish fuck probably. Of course she thinks that. I am. With the whole tour thing I lost my mind and didn't think of what really is important.

I decide to take a turn and go back home to apologise to her immediately.

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Arriving home I notice Vicky is still sitting in front of her canvas, but I notice she's been crying. I walk up to her and take her in a hug. "I'm so so sorry, I was fucking selfish." I whisper. "Of course I know it's about Robin." I add. She doesn't say anything and just cries, but I let her.

"This is not only about Robin." She says when she's done crying. "This is about you, you've changed. When Robin died and I was thinking about an abortion because I knew I couldn't raise a kid on my own and you told me you would be here, that you would take care and raise him with me. Instead now I have to spend the days alone with him when he's here and it's hard, because the kid fucking needs you. He's constantly asking about you and he doesn't understand why you're not always home anymore-"