She's Mine

Chapter 44

Lua's POV:

Mate.

The word buzzed through me causing whirls of horror and excitement to dance together. I didn't know how to feel, but I couldn't deny the relief that it was Grayson instead of anybody else.

It was always clear to me that I was attracted to Grayson, long before the apparent effects of the mating bond began to kick in. And looking into those shining golden eyes now, that glittered with quiet happiness, I couldn't help but feel the same.

I understood why he did what he did, and his apology was genuine, I could feel the regret trickling off him as he held me within his arms. It was a shock at first to be pulled in to him, but his words told me that he did care, that everything wasn't a lie. 

I had always liked him; thinking back to the days spent with him, and part of me knew that it went deeper than regular attractiveness - so the mating bond was like a little plus.

Perhaps I should've been more shocked, or angrier at the fact that he didn't tell me earlier, but I didn't see the point of it in the long run, and I didn't see anything to be dramatically angry about; he had told me now, which is a better time than any, so I was pleased.

Suddenly, Grayson's eyes went serious but I could see the concern within there, the hands that rested on my hips tightening - "What happened in that room?"

My back locked up at its mention, my mind bursting with unwanted images and I watched as rage consumed the gold, as if...

"Are you seeing everything I am?"

Grayson smirked, but it was strained and tight, his eyes revealing the torrent of wrath and rage that he was truly feeling, "It's hard not to when you're pushing it down the bond. Also, I'm touching you so it's much easier to do so,"

I debated stepping out of his touch, blocking the images I was seeing from him, but from the look of his face, it was clear he had already seen everything. There was no point now.

"You've seen everything that happened," I bit out, trying to block out the images and sounds and feelings that involuntarily flashed out at the thought of the room. I took a shaking breath in - I would not let them control me. I tried to fight off the sensation of my throat closing up - why did this always have to happen?

Instantly there were hands on my face and I was looking back into Gray's eyes, I hadn't realised I ever looked away - "You can talk to me. Just -" he took a rattling breath in, "Please... talk to me,"

I felt my eyes begin to prick, "What about Azule and Nora?"

"We have tomorrow," His eyes so soft, I wanted to drift away in them.

And for the first time in a while, I had felt so safe and unjudged, I let the tears that had been building and bottled within me to burst out; endless streams cascading down without stopping - I didn't know how to stop them now they had started. I felt like I was shattered and healing at the same time, as if my battered soul was slowly, gradually mending itself back.

I was being lifted, Grayson's hands hot under my thighs, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my head rest on his shoulder, broken noises escaping out of me. And then he was sitting, with me seated on his lap, the warmth of his body heating the chill that swept through me, as I remembered the biting cold of the stones.

"I don't know how to make them stop," I cried out, "I don't know how to make them go away,"

"They won't go away, they'll always remain in your memory. You just have to keep telling yourself that you survived it, that you're ok now. Perhaps think of something that'll help you remind yourself of that," he murmured, rubbing his hand in calming circular motions on my back.

My cheek was pressed against his shoulder, my nose almost touching his neck, and I breathed in, the air fully reaching my lungs, his scent coaxing me to relaxation.

The tears were still coming, silently flooding down - "I hate how they can still control me, after all this time,"

"They don't control you, Lua. They never have. If they did, you wouldn't be here right now, fighting on the opposite side,"

I stayed silent, as my tears eventually stopped streaming out. My previous emotions being replaced with something else, something that had my arms tightening, pulling him closer; my fingers threading through his hair at the base of his neck. Gray's arms did the same thing, and I felt my heart take off in a flurry. Where this sudden desire and want came from I had no idea, but before I knew it, I was leaning in - pressing light kisses on his neck.

I felt him shiver, and I could tell how much it was affecting him, by the way his hands gripped harder, and I was pulled even closer to him. My stomach twisted with longing.

I gradually got higher until I was at his ear, and with this newly found confidence I somehow acquired, I gently tugged at his earing using my teeth, before pulling away and looking at him.

His eyes were dark and hooded, his pupils dilating as they landed on me, and I tried to remember how to breathe and when he said in a low rumble - "Come here,", I was on him in a second.

Every thought evaporated into nothing, the world falling apart around me at the feel of his lips pressed against mine. It felt so natural like two moulds fitting perfectly together. Sparks flew through my vision as he deepened the kiss, his hands pushing me closer as if nothing was close enough. I felt like I was aflame, my soul burning with desire. 

I didn't know how much time had passed; with him, it seemed time was warped and twisted into nothing like everything was endless and forever.