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Chapter Fifty-Five: Heart To Heart

"Awake?" Yan Jin Qiu laughed lowly as he looked at the person in his arms. He glanced at the color of the sky outside the window; it was almost evening. Because of Hou shi, Hua Xi Wan's mood did not seem good, so Yan Jin Qiu had pulled her onto the bed. After seeing Hua Xi Wan fall asleep, his worries were put to rest.

He had been worried that the matters of Hou shi would affect Hua Xi Wan, as Hou shi and Hua Xi Wan had been decreed marriage into the Imperial Family at the same time, only Hou shi had been earlier and she later. Hou shi was in such terrible circumstances right now, and he was worried that Hua Xi Wan would relate it to herself.

However, she was not Hou shi and he was not Yan Bo Yi.

"En." Hua Xi Wan put her head on his chest. She did not feel like moving. "I do not want to get up."

Yan Jin Qiu saw her like this and wrapped his arms around her waist. He said with a smile, "Then don't get up if you do not want to." It was rare for him to see Hua Xi Wan like this, and Yan Jin Qiu naturally would not ruin the mood.

Maybe it was because this chest was slightly warm that Hua Xi Wan felt that she did not feel so repelled by Yan Jin Qiu. Or rather than saying that she felt repelled by Yan Jin Qiu, it would be more accurate to say that she was repelled by this marriage that was unequal between the sexes. Because she knew the reality was so, she docilely accepted this marriage, but because of her emotions deep inside, she would not feel true love for Yan Jin Qiu, her husband.

Maybe, even if she could not give her love, she should treat Yan Jin Qiu better as he did not have any concubines right now, and had not done anything wrong to her.

In more common words, he didn't owe her anything.

"I never thought I would marry into the imperial clan," Hua Xi Wan said with a sigh. "From childhood, I always felt that I would marry into a normal prestigious family and be a slightly valiant mistress, have normal and lazy days. When I got old, I would play with my grandchildren and be idle."

Yan Jin Qiu caressed her hair. He did not speak and only listened in silence.

"After the Emperor decreed marriage, I spent a month in my room, feeling out of sorts. Later, I thought that there isn't any difference between men in the world. Even if I married into a minor family, a lustful man would still be lustful. The reason why I did not want to marry into the Imperial Family was because I was afraid it would be troublesome." Hua Xi Wan turned her head towards Yan Jin Qiu and said as she looked at his chin, "We have been married for over half a year, until now we've been probing each other's bottom lines, and I suddenly feel there is no meaning in that."

What was done was done, and anything else was useless. She knew this reality already, but she had just been unwilling.

Yan Jin Qiu looked at Hua Xi Wan's eyes. He had not expected that she would state this openly. This was just as he had been anticipating all this time but felt would never happen. It caused him to feel happy yet not know what to do.

"Actually, from the first day of marriage, I just wanted to ask you one thing." Hua Xi Wan raised herself up and flipped over to lie on Yan Jin Qiu's abdomen to stare down at him. She said with a smile, "Can I believe in you?"

Yan Jin Qiu focused on this pair of beautiful eyes. "From now on, even though I cannot tell you some things, I will not lie and fool you. Are... are you willing to walk with me?"

"What you said...?" Putting a hand on his chest to support herself, Hua Xi Wan bent down and kissed the corner of Yan Jin Qiu's lips. "Why don't we try?"

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