Chapter 29

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Luther's POV
You're not real.

She said it to me the first time she cried. I brushed it off, thinking she was saying it to dissociate herself from the fact she got kidnapped.

But as time went on it really felt like she didn't believe anyone of us were real. She laughed a lot for sure, but that was it.

I kind of expected her to act distant with the 3 of us since we, you know, were holding her hostage but she acts the same with her brother and Samuel.

She treats Samuel like a child in need of protection and sometimes it looks like she thinks of him as a puppy. She's infatuated with his character but keeps him at an arm's length.

Her brother's craziness seems to stem from the fact he thinks she is bound to disappear forever. When she got kidnapped by Daniel he kept mumbling to himself about how he'd lose her forever and he needs to keep her locked up.

Thinking about how she treated her kidnapping with an unusual indifference, it truly felt as if she refused to believe it was happening.

I find myself regretting the actions I took but at the same time how could I stop myself? She's weird, weird as hell. I mean wouldn't you deem someone interesting if they wouldn't get injured after being shot at? Or wouldn't die when mortally wounded without the aid of medical attention?

But then why didn't my interests stop after she was able to be injured? Maybe because there were more questions to be answered like where did that healing ability go? Or why was she only able to do that for a short period of time?

But no matter how much I thought about these things I doubt I could ever find the answer. I shook my head, as if to clear my thoughts as I entered the hospital for the second time today. A feeling of dread had followed me around all afternoon after witnessing her silent tears earlier on in the day. we had all tried to ask her about why she cried but she refused to open up about it.

That's what I mean about her when I saying she's keeping her distance she would never tell anyone about her issues. I expected her tears when she was held hostage but it seems that Ian and Samuel both had witnessed her silently crying late into the night without giving so much as a hint into why she was behaving as such. And then when she greeted them in the morning she was all smiles, seemingly free from worries.

Even today for example she was quick to dry her tears and carry on as usual. She lightened the atmosphere in an instant, acting as though it was a small matter but when I left there was this niggling feeling in the back of my head that something was wrong.

It looks like I was right to come back, I thought as I stared at the scene that welcomed me upon arriving at the door to her room. She bashed her head against the table repeatedly with her eyes closed and a small smile on her face. I hesitantly took a step forward but stopped altogether as she raised her head and began to cry.

In this kind of situation what am I supposed to do?

Walking away seems like best option, let's ignore it. She'll be back to normal by tomorrow I'll ask her then.

I swept my hair back with one hand and turned to walk back to the entrance. As I sped away, her choked cries seemed to echo in the almost silent corridors accompanied only by the rhythmic beeping of the hospital machines.

Ignore it. Ignore it.

I groaned quietly as I felt my body turn back towards her room and take a step forward.

I refuse.

I turned back around determined to pretend I didn't see anything but that haunting sound and that imagery of her smashing her head against the table...

I yet again found myself walking towards her room. And froze at the entrance as the words that seemed to be ingrained in my mind repeated endlessly.

You're not real. But I am, so why am I here?

They seemed to be taunting me as I witnessed her disappearing. As if to say look she's not supposed to be here like she said all along. There was a dull throbbing pain in my chest as I watched it play out with widened eyes.

You're not real.

What's that supposed to mean? How could I not be real? Does that make any sense?!

Doesn't it make more sense for her not to be real? I mean she was literally immortal for a little bit, and even right now her body is disappearing.

Disappearing? But why?

Why am I here? It was annoying me, her words were annoying me. What do you mean why were you here?

No wait, who cares isn't it for the best if she leaves? She's such a nuisance, I have to keep checking up on her because she might be crying or she might be dying. It's annoying, why couldn't she have just stayed immortal instead of making me... making me, making me what?

Ah whatever, I don't care. I'm happy to see you leave, have a good day to wherever you end up.

She could really be leaving.

...God damn it.

Before I could stop myself I was already stomping over and grabbing her by the shoulders. Her figure slowly became opaque again as she turned to look at me, wide-eyed.

I could feel my heart racing and then I felt it burning up as anger began building up.

Why is she crying so much? Why is her forehead all red? Why was she hurting herself with a smile?

Before I could help myself I started shouting at her. Seeing her cry as she struggled to talk I felt an itching in my chest. Scratching at it I tried to get rid of the itch while thinking of how to calm her down.

But she started crying more and I felt panicked and then angry but my anger couldn't shut her up.

Luther, don't make a sound.

Memories I'd rather forget started sounding at the back of my head. I could barely remember the woman speaking but that ghostly feeling of her slowly rubbing my back still stayed with me.

A/N: Ratata we know what bout to happen next (we don't) I had a lil surgery today and my dads shook I don't need pain killers even 10 hours later even though it was a literal baby surgery and he's just like yo there's something wrong with this girl she don't feel pain I think my sisters brainwashing is working on my dad coz she keeps talking bout how I can't feel pain coz I sometimes don't react to getting random cuts but I'm desensitised to tiny ass cuts only the big wuns for me Ayt bye lol

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