The Third Word

Chapter 86

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I clicked the door close behind me and tiptoed on the wooden floor, trying not to get it wet from my socks soaked in water.  I was shivering because I was completely wet from the rain. I could still hear the thunder outside. It was 10 AM but it was so dark that it seemed it was night- time.  

"We have a burglar." Dad's voice came from the hall and I shot my head in his direction, seeing him with his arms folded and staring at me with a serious look.

Shit.

"What are you talking about?" Mom asked as she came out of the kitchen, holding a cup of coffee and handing another one to dad," Gwen? Where did you go dressed up like that?" She asked when she noticed me.

"Ethan Miler's memorial service." I answered as I took off my socks and tossed them on the floor.

"Why would you-" Mom started off.

"I was invited by Elijah." I answered.

"You're completely drenched! Why didn't you take an umbrella with you?" Mom asked.

"Ask her since when she's started going out like that without informing us." Dad told her.

"Mom, dad, let me take a breather. I'm tired and sad. Please, leave me alone for some time."  I said as nicely as possible and walked into the hall, all the way to the back of the house. I took off my blazer and put it for laundry after taking out the white rose from the pocket.

I touched the soft petals of the rose and one of them fell off on the floor. I picked it up, wiping the invisible dust off it gently. 

It's so beautiful, just like him.

"I feel like we're growing distant." I heard dad talk to mom in the hall, which took my attention off the rose. I stepped a little closer to the hall to listen in, not showing myself.

"What do you mean?" Mom asked.

"She's our only daughter. I can't see her sad all the time and now she's started keeping things from us." Dad said in a troubled tone.

"Let's do as she says." Mom said.

"What about her birthday party that we've planned?" He asked.

"Honey, tomorrow's Christmas eve and we haven't planned a thing. Let's have the party tomorrow." Mom said suggestively. 

I walked back to the hall, pretending I didn't hear them talk and climbed upstairs while they watched me quietly. I shut my door and sighed. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate my birthday or Christmas or New Year or go to the wedding. Yet, I couldn't cancel everyone else's plan just because I was on the brink of depression. 

Just go with the flow.

After a warm bath and changing into fresh clothes, I sat on my bed and took my newly prescribed pills. They tasted bitter than ever. I had been having pills since 5 years. I was sick of them, but they kept me alive. I was sick of breathing, but it kept me alive. I was sick of thinking about Ethan...but it kept me alive. I was not living, I was dragging myself through life to get somewhere, at some point where I'd be happy. But there was none that I could see in the near future.

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.

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I had missed out on school and assignments. I had to cover up quickly in order to not flunk in any subject. The biggest problem was that I didn't feel like studying. Studying was something I regarded as my whole life few months ago and now I was sick of that too. The heavy medication would make me drowsy and I only spent my days and nights sleeping and deep thinking.