As Sick As Her

35

Orion King

I remember a time when hurting people made me somewhat happy. It wasn't pure. I wasn't completely whole, but hurting brought me a sense of peace. It used to silence the voices in my head.

"We have a shipment coming in," I remind Atticus.

He nods, "I remember. Romeo and I will have a team ready to retrieve it, just in case we run into trouble. If all goes well, our product will hit the streets by tomorrow evening, and we'll make a profit. I'm talking hundreds of thousands."

He seems livid, but he should know that money doesn't mean a lot. Not to me. Why settle for hundreds and thousands, when you already have millions? It baffles me how low Atticus stoops.

"Bring Adonis with you," I tell him. Lately the threats on my life have increased, which means people in my life, my organization, aren't safe.

Adonis might be the youngest, but he's ruthless with a weapon, and he owns plenty. It's been weeks since he's been shot, he's recovered since. "Copy that," Atticus responds, "How's the married life?"

"It would be better if I could actually see my wife," I reply back, "I've been stuck dealing with bullshit all week. I haven't fully seen her once," A truth. I felt so bad for leaving her alone, that I allowed Emily to come stay with her for a while. "It's killing me."

"She's got you whipped," Atticus grins.

I roll my eyes at him, "Shut the fuck up."

"We can all see it, and you're not doing a very good job at hiding it. I think it's about time you found someone to deal with your horrible attitude."

"I'll shove my gun down your throat," I mumble, slightly annoyed by the fact that he's right. "I'm not afraid of people knowing how I feel about her." It's the feeling that gets me afraid. The danger of it.

"Take a risk," Atticus shrugs, "You're not like father. You don't have to be this monster all of the time. You can find a way to run shit effectively, and also have feelings for Ruth." He's right again.

"I thought you hated her?" I question.

He shakes his head, "Hate is a very strong word."

"Bullshit. We're Kings, all we do is hate," I mange to let out a chuckle, "I'm just surprised one of you dumbasses didn't kill her," I refer to my brothers.

"And face death by you?" Atticus shakes his head.

"I knew from the moment I found out that you were surveilling her for months, that you had some attachment. It was quite obvious then, and it's quite obvious now," Has it been? Maybe so. I can't hide my emotions when it comes to Ruth.

"I have a meeting with the Lucianos later this week. I think we're supposed to discuss Ilya, and next steps. I need you to find out if the jefe plans to come," I change the conversation, "If I have to deal with his wife again, I might literally shoot myself."

Atticus lets out a nod, and gets up from his seat. "I'll see what I can find out," He walks over to the doorknob, but stops once his hands reach it. "I mean what I said. Take a risk, enjoy your Ruth."

After Atticus leaves, I can't help but replay his words in my mind: "Enjoy your Ruth." My Ruth.

She's always been mine, but each time I hear it, It sends something bursting inside my stomach.

I knock twice on her door, "I'm coming in."

Ever since Emily's been staying here, she refused to sleep in my bed, all because she doesn't want to leave Emily alone. That's my girl. Always thinking of others, and not herself. I admire her kindness.

"Hey," Emily greets me first.

I nod a hello back at her, my eyes glaring straight at Ruth. She's beautiful. Her hair is placed upwards in a messy bun, and she's wearing sweatpants. I don't get how she makes everything look so flawless.

"Can we have the room, please?" Fuck. What is this girl doing to me? Never in my twenty two years of living have I ever used that word. I usually just take. I want something, I make sure that I have it.

Emily leaves immediately, leaving Ruth and I in the room together, alone. "I'm guessing you miss me."

I walk over to her, "Mhm, do I?"

"I don't know, do you?" She smiles, "If you do, this would be a nice time to show me just how much you miss me. I'm thinking kisses, maybe a hug."

"Oh, really?" I smile as I place a kiss on her soft lips, then I proceed to wrap my arm around her, "Like this?" I question her sarcastically, "Or?"

"Just like that," She whispers, "I missed you."

"I saw you last night," I respond.

She nods, "For two seconds, then you went off to god knows where, and left me here. I missed you."

I plant another kiss on her lips, "You're so needy."

"Only for my wife," She kisses me back.

Oh how I've missed her besides me, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I've never been afraid of much, even as a child, my father taught me to not fear, note be afraid. It's safe to say that he's be quite disappointed in me for being afraid of losing her.

With Ruth, I don't have to be this monster. I can let her see the sides of me that I wouldn't dare show anyone else. I can be myself around her, or at least the version I believe is best, because that's all she deserves, nothing but the best. I care for her.

I'm not even a hundred percent sure on how that feels. I've never felt like this before, never paid attention to anyone as much as I pay attention to her, so that must mean that I care. I know I do.

"One day we're going to leave," I whisper to her, "I don't care where we go. All I know is that I want to live a life of freedom, and peace with only you."

Ruth smiles, "I can't ask you to leave your life."

"I think you are my life," I reply honestly, meaning every word. Sure I was alive before her, but I was never living. "One day, it'll be just us. You and me."

"Just Us," Ruth whispers, "I like the sound of that."