"You were set to marry my father's heir. My oldest brother," She picks up a cup, "Due to unforeseen circumstances, he has died. As second oldest, it is my duty to fulfill my father's wishes." I'm still utterly confused. She takes a sip, "You will ma...
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Ruth Foster
Orion's laying there lifeless on the kitchen floor by the time I get there, "Orion," I sob, attempting to cradle her body, "You don't get to die on me, not now. You promised me you wouldn't, Orion."
"You promised," I whisper softly, dragging my hand softly against her cheek, "Open your eyes."
Orion's eyes stay closed, "But they hurt."
"Orion?" I continue sobbing, "Baby. There's still time for a hospital, I'm going to go get Amiri. We can make it, I can save you. We can save you. I refuse to watch you die on me, Ry. You will not die on me." I can barely hear myself through my cries, "If you die on me, I will never forgive you. Don't."
Orion keeps her eyes closed, "Everyone dies."
"I'm not married to everyone," I reply, "I'm married to you. I love you, and I want to save you. I'm getting Amiri, okay? Hold on. I'll be right—"
Orion's eyes snap open, and her hand finds mine. "I wouldn't. There's not enough time to save me, Rue. I know you want to, and I too want nothing more than to live to see another day with you, but admit it. I'm not making it out of here alive, so hold me. Hold me until I leave this earth, please."
I shake my head, tears stream down my face. For the first time since I've known Orion, I've finally allowed myself to cry in front of her. "Don't die on me. I can't let you do that, I can't let you leave me. I have no one, I have no one." I sob, "I have no one."
Orion smiles faintly, "Even in death, I'll love you."
"Stop it," I yell, "Stop it. You're not dying. You're going to make it out alive, and then we're going to read my mother's journal together. You'll hold me in your arms, while I cry about what she wrote. You're the strong one, Orion. You're supposed to be the strong one in this marriage. I'm supposed to be the one dying, not you. I can't live without you, don't you understand? I love you, I breathe for you. There is no me, without you. You're not dying."
"I'm dying,"'Orion replies weakly, "Accept it."
"You'll live," I sob out, "You have to."
"I'm going to die, Rue. Accept it."
How am I supposed to accept that? I can't. "I refuse to," I tell her, "Keep your eyes open, Orion. Keep them open, I'll be back. I'm getting help. Don't close your eyes, okay? Baby, I'll be back. You're going to be fine, you're going to be fine," I get up, and leave her there while I go find Amiri. He's inside the car, and immediately gets out once he sees me running to him, "I need help," I cry out.
"She's inside," I tell him, "Come, you need to help me carry her in your car. She needs a hospital, but she'll live. Orion will live," I sob, "She'll live."
Amiri and I hurry back into the house, to the kicker, where Orion still lays. "I told you you'd be fine," I walk over to her, but her eyes are closed.
No. "Ry?" Silence.
"Amiri?" I turn to him, "Is she?"
He walks over, bends over, and checks to see if Orion has a pulse, "Ma'am," His voice is soft, and I've heard that tone before. The police officer who explained that my uncle died, used the same one.
No. "Tell me she isn't," I yell at him, "Please."
• • •
"Can I get you a cup of water?"
I shake my head at her, "No, thank you."
"What's been going on? Ruth." My wife died, a wife that she doesn't even know exists. I didn't tell Martha anything that last time I saw her, all I said was that I found a new job, and she encouraged me to leave here, find my happiness elsewhere.
Im not me right now. I feel like doing something drastic, and I wouldn't even call it that, seeing as though, Atticus killed Orion, I have every right to give him what he deserves, which is death by me.
"I think I want to do something," I tell Martha.
Martha nods, "What's the something?"
I attempt to hold back the tears I have ready to fall as I think about Orion, and her dying. "Revenge, Martha. I lost another person, someone I wasn't ready to lose yet, and I feel like I'm losing my mind over here. I feel like, I want to do something bad."
"No, you don't." Martha replies.
A tear falls from my eyes, "Yes, I do."
"If you did, you would've done it already. Instead, you came here. I haven't seen you in ages, Ruth. I had no idea any of this was even going on in your life, and here you are, asking for my help. You don't want to do anything bad, and you won't." I wish I could believe that, but if Atticus was here, I would slit his throat, or shoot him dead.
After leaving Orion's house, I wanted to go straight to Atticus's. I wanted to kill him, make him feel the same amount of pain that I feel right now, but I didn't. Instead, I said, "Amiri, take me to my job."
"What did you feel when Frank died?"
Martha takes a breath, "Angry, and I felt like I couldn't go on. I did. I carried on, because frank had a dream, he wanted this place to be something."
I nod, "Do you still feel him?"
"Every second."
Orion hasn't even been dead a full hour, and I already feel her. I miss her. "If given the chance to take your pain out on someone else, would you?"
Martha nods, "Wouldn't you?"
"I think that's my problem, Martha. I want to, but I don't want to lose myself in the process. I loved her, loved her enough to even consider this," I say.
Martha doesn't know the full story, all she knows, is that I loved someone, and they died, just like my father, and just like my mother. "I loved her."
"Grief can only take you so far," Martha responds, "I can guarantee you, that no act of revenge could bring your love back." But it can inflict pain, and that's what I want. "You're better than this, Ruth."
