Towers||Charlie Weasley.

11

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Lily and Molly had prepared dinner that evening and all were present except Harry and Hattie. James left to go and fetch them, but he couldn't find Harry anywhere. Instead, he went to get Hattie and found Harry asleep next to her.

James smiled at the pair and left the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him. Returning to the kitchen he made two plates and set them aside.

"Who are they for?" Asked his wife as he sat beside her.

"Harry and Hattie, they're asleep, I didn't want to wake them." James told her. "They're cuddled up like they used to do when they were younger."

Lily nodded returning to her conversation with Molly leaving James to turn to Sirius. "Give it a little while longer, then go talk to her." He said to Sirius who was picking at his food.

"I've never shouted at her." Sirius mumbled, "I've never had too. It felt wrong."

Remus, who was sat the other side of him, placed his hand on his friends shoulder and have it a squeeze, "you're bound to feel weird, Padfoot." Said Remus, "But don't worry about it too much. You'll apologise, unground her and it'll all be okay."

Charlie, who sat across from them, looked down at his plate. It wasn't going to be okay. It never will be if Hattie didn't have help. She didn't want help, though. He had tried, but even for a short amount of time it wasn't working, she needed help that would be there at all times. Something Charlie couldn't offer.

Losing his appetite, Charlie excused himself and made his way up the stairs only to bump into Harry who was trudging down the stairs. "Is dinner ready?" The boy asked. Charlie nodded. "Shall I get, Hattie?"

"No, it's alright mate. I'll get her." Charlie smiled at him, ruffling his messy hair.

Charlie ran the rest of the way up and entered Hattie's room to find her still asleep. He sat down beside her and gently stirred her awake.

"What?" She asked him rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Leave me alone, Charlie."

"No. I said I will but I won't. Even if that means I come back to Hogwarts with you, no matter what anyone says, I am not leaving you alone." He said sternly. "I am going to help you. I haven't managed to last an evening without wanting to help you so you have no choice."

Hattie rolled her eyes and her body so that she faced away from Charlie. "Go away, I don't nor need yours or anyone else's help!"

"Yes you do! Yes you bloody well do! Hattie, please, just let me help you. You were doing so well." Charlie cried, his hands resting on her arms.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't understand."

"Help me to."

"I don't think I can. I don't think I ever will be able to. It's not like what you read in books. Some things are but you can never know what it really feels like until you experience it. It's like tasting a food. You can hear or read a description but you can never taste it until you actually taste it. You won't understand what it feels like, Charlie." Hattie told him, tears pricking the corner of her eyes threatening to fall. Crying was awful but it released some things she was keeping built up.

Charlie laid down much like Harry once did, and encased her in his arms pulling her into him so that her back was pressed to his chest. His face buried in her hair as he mumbled, "Tell me. Tell me what it feels like."

"Numb." She said, her hands resting her head. "But so painful too."

"How?" Charlie asked holding her tighter.

"I feel like I can't feel anything around me, like I'm in a suffocating bubble that is tearing me from the world little by little. Yet, inside the bubble it's like sharp icicles that stab every part of my body, and my tears are blood taunting the clear ice.

When I cut, I dig deep. I dig deep to try and burst this bubble that gets smaller and smaller around me, the icicles inside pressing deeper into me, but with each slice it's like the bubble bursting.

Like I'm free.

Like the bubble is earth but every slice. Every deep long slice, is a boost that is pushing from from this earth. Setting me free like an eagle riding the winds. The winds of freedom. Ridding me of this terrible place."

Charlie felt himself tearing up with every word she spoke. "Then why...why don't you eat." He stuttered slightly, his voice cracking.

"It's my punishment."

Charlie was so confused. Punishment?

"I don't cut deep enough. I don't make my way to the astronomy tower, and if I do get there, I don't climb over the edge. I don't fall. I fail myself everyday. Food is a luxury that I don't deserve.

So many people are on this earth without food and without water. Those people want to live. They want to be here but they can't because the world is against them.

The world is against me.

I don't want to be here. I don't want food that I don't want. I don't need it to survive. I don't need to survive. Those without food do.

It's my punishment for everything.

I can't eat.

I can't drink.

I have to cut.

I have to vomit.

I have to die."

"Hattie..."

"I'm not fine at all, Charlie, I'm really not. But that's okay. It's okay because one day, hopefully soon, I will be.

I will be fine the second I stop breathing.

Stopping breathing will be me finally bursting that bubble."