"Where then?"
"Not on this Earth."
Hattie Black is the daughter of Sirius Black. Growing up she never had a set home, her parents weren't together and that meant she had to change between houses all of the time. Even during school holidays when she...
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Hattie woke up with a sigh in the night, her Dad was beside her facing the window whilst she faced the door. Her arms burned and itched, they were begging for the blade to meet them like the friend it was. Her heart sped up at the thought of the relief t would make her feel if it just happened to slip across her arms, like a paintbrush on a canvas.
The need was growing, her body was alive.
Hattie peeled back the duvet and slipped out of the bed, trying not to wake her father before sneaking out of the room. The only obstacle now would be Ginny in her room. She would have to slyly get the razor from beneath her bed and get out of the room before the younger girl woke up.
She pushed her bedroom door open slowly and slipped the small gap that let the minimal amount of light from the hallway into the room. Carefully she got onto her knees and reached under bed. Her fingers met with the handle of the razor and it like a spark of electricity running through her veins.
Snatching it up, she quickly dived out of the room shutting the door behind her and scurried down the stairs as quietly as possible. This time no one was up, everyone was in bed, much to her relief.
Outside on the damp grass, Hattie broke the handle of the razor and left only the metal blade in her hand. The rest was thrown under the bushes near her. She stared down at the blade, the reflection of the moonlight shimmering on it.
It was a full moon tomorrow.
When Hattie first began to cut, she did feel bad that she was giving herself scars. She felt bad because people like Remus couldn't stop themselves from scarring themselves on a full moon. He was picked on and laughed at because of his scars and he wished so much for them to not be there.
Yet, Hattie wanted more scars. She wanted the cuts that broke her free of the bubble. She would take all of Remus' scars in a heart beat, if it meant she was that one more step closer to her wish. She would do anything.
There were times where she debated sneaking off to where her father, Remus, James and Peter went on a full moon. She dreamed of the werewolf ripping her apart and the feeling of her last breath escaping her lips, but then she remembered Remus. He would never forgive himself. Neither would the others. If one of them hurt the other they would fall apart. The four were brothers after all. If Remus' werewolf form killed her, Sirius wouldn't be happy and their brotherhood and family would be broken.
She didn't want pain on anyone else.
She didn't believe that her death would affect anyone else. If one of them killed her, then maybe it would. However, if she was to die, she believed they wouldn't care.
One. For sorrow.
Two. For joy.
Three. For a girl.
Four. For a boy.
Five. For silver.
Six. For gold.
Seven...
For a story never to be told.
The rhyme typically for the sight of magpies was so relatable. She would a story never to be told. If she died, that was.
She often wondered whether anyone would tell the story of Harriet Black's life if she died.
Would it be a tragic story?
Would it be 'our Hattie, our broken girl'?
Would it be 'we once had a friend called Harriet, but she was known as Hattie?'
Would she even be remembered?
Thought of?
None of that mattered, though. It all came down to a date and a time. A date and time of birth. A date and time for death. Wasn't being born just a journey to death? The only reason for life is death, right?
Dying would be an awfully big adventure. That's what Peter Pan said anyway, the boy who never grew up, from the muggle children's book by J.M. Barrie.
Hattie let out a shakey breath as relief washed over her. The blood trickled onto the grass like it had done the previous day in the field. However, this time, she stood up and entered the house going into the kitchen she placed the plug in the sink and let the water run over her arms, collecting in a pool of red in the sink. The blade was on the counter now free of blood where she had washed it off.
After a short while, Hattie got some kitchen towel and placed it over the new wounds as she found a bandage. She took the tissue off and replaced it with the bandage before discarding the tissue and pulling down her sleeves. She let the blood-filled water run down the plug hole and into the pipes as she picked up the blade.
It still tempted her but she resisted.
Brushing past her coat that was hung up in the hall she slipped it into the pocket so that it was hidden before scampering back to bed.
She thought she had gotten away with it all without anyone waking up, but she found her father sat up in bed awake.
"Where did you go?" He asked her firefly as a yawn escaped his lips.
"I got a drink." She mumbled suppressing her own yawn. She climbed back into the bed as her father pulled her small body into him.
"Get some sleep Hattie, maybe then you won't be taking as many naps in the day time as you usually do." Sirius told her, running a hand threw her hair.
The girl rolled her eyes before shutting them. "Just let me leave." She begged in her head. "Please..."
