Towers||Charlie Weasley.

52

* * *

In the middle of the night Hattie woke up and could just about see the moon through a sliver of a crack in the curtains. It was a cloudy night so the stars were not visible which upset her but it couldn't be helped.

Despite all of the pain-relief given to her, Hattie felt an aching pain throughout her veins. It surged through her, ripping her insides apart and bringing tears to her eyes. Her arms itched and yearned to be dancing with a blade but she couldn't do anything about it. Her nails would not even suffice since they had been cut to stumps.

Tears slipped from her eyes and down her cheeks as she sat up, tugging her legs up into her chest. Hattie buried her head into her kneecaps and let out small whimpers.

Sirius was still outside of the hospital room on a bench, barely sleeping, whilst Remus and Peter slept in the two armchairs beside Hattie's bed. James and Lily were at home with Harry and would return in the morning with some more bits and pieces.

Everyone's sleep was broken as they worried for Hattie, the Weasley's who had returned to the Burrow with Hermione joining them all, waited for news from anyone regarding Hattie. The twins hadn't even tried falling asleep. Ron was sat in his room looking at old photos of the pair after he woke up after about an hours sleep. Ginny was curled up into George's side in his bed; she didn't want to lose her best friend.

Remus groaned in his sleep waking up with a stiff neck. He was knackered, the full moon would be in the next few days and he knew he needed sleep but he didn't want to because of Hattie.

He heard her whimpers and rubbed his eyes. He saw her position and gently laid his hand in her back. She flinched from the contact but did not look up at all. "Darling, what's going on?" He asked. Remus was beyond asking whether she was okay because he knew she was far from it.

Hattie continued to weep and whimper to the point that Remus scooped her small frame and onto his lap. He hushed her soothingly, running his fingers through her hair and rubbing her back.

"I don't want to be here, Uncle Moony, I really don't." Hattie mumbled, her voice quiet and choked.

"I know you don't, but we want you here, we want to watch you grow up and have kids of your own." Responded Remus, his heart breaking at her cries.

Shaking her head, Hattie looked up, her glistening grey eyes met Remus'. Her lip was trembling and her cheeks stained. "What if I don't want that? What if I don't want to see myself grow up, have kids. What if I don't want that?"

"Is this still about your dad?"

"No. Not everything is about him. I just don't want to be here. Why should I get to live when I don't want to but those who do, can't?"

"It doesn't work like that, darling."

Hattie turned away from her uncle. Screwing her eyes shut she pushed him away. "I don't want this. I don't want any of this."

Remus let her push him away physically, but, mentally it pushed her closer to him. "You're not the only one hurting, Hattie. You're not the only one who has felt that way. I have done so. Many times."

"And you don't now?" She asked him.

"No," Remus shook his head, his fingers drumming on his shaking knee, "because I kept my family and friends close. They helped me to see that I wasn't worthless, that I wasn't done monstrous beast. They made me feel alive."

"Then why is it the opposite with me?"

"We make you feel dead?"

Hattie nodded. "I don't know why. I just don't feel like living when I'm around you all. It sounds harsh but there is no way that I can sugar coat it."

Remus frowned at her words, "then let me show you how to live."

"You're the fourth person to say that to me. First Charlie. Then Dallin. Then Seamus. Now you. Why does everyone say that but it never happens?"

He didn't reply to her statement. Remus reached his hand out and took hers in his. She tried to tug hers away but her kept hold of her. "Tell me, Hattie, in these past few months, have you felt happy? Like at all? Even for a split second?"

"Yes."

"When?"

Hattie looked down at her bare feet, "when I was with Charlie in Romania." She told him.

"All the time of at a specific time?"

"All of the time."

Remus stood up carefully and perched on the edge of the bed engulfing Hattie in his arms. "Do you love Charlie?"

"Of course I do. He's my brother."

"Do you need Charlie?"

"..."

"Hattie?"

"Yes..."

A/n-
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