Love is Suicidal [Completed]

chapter: sixty two

River's POV

Lose you by Jordan Davis^

I was leaning on the kitchen counter as Sophie was standing across the kitchen. She was watching me as I was standing there, waiting for a reply from Jesse on Instagram but it's already been twenty minutes.

"How's your eye?" Sophie asks.

Looking at her, I shook my head. "Swollen." I barely touched my left eye and pain shot through it. I knew that fighting Belle wasn't the smartest choice but I had no other choice.

We both kept bruises on each other and I thought that was a fair match.

One reason why we fought was because she came and started her shit, telling me all kinds of lies I fell for in the past and I just wanted her to leave. But I knew she wasn't going to leave so I had no other choice but to hit her, then we ended up fighting.

I was walking out the door to get Jesse back here but Belle pulled up before I could.

"Did she message back?"

I look at my phone but didn't see a message anywhere. "No." I sighed before looking at her then crossing my arms.

"River, if she doesn't come-"

"She'll be here." I said then looked somewhere else to avoid eye contact.

I heard her sigh but my eyes remained on an object until I heard her speak, then I looked over at her. "River.. if she doesn't come then I don't want you to-"

"Stop, Sophie." I look at her for a moment before looking somewhere else.

I needed Jesse here more than anything and it was driving me insane. I couldn't stand her being away, but then again I don't want her staying cause everything just gets too much and I end up kicking her out.

That's why I can't have her close to me.. it scares me to the point where I push her away only to bring her back.

It's toxic to say the least.

Hearing my phone go off, I quickly looked at it and saw a message from Jesse which made my heart start skipping a beat. I look at Sophie as she was watching me. "She's coming."

"Ok." She nods. "I'm gone. Bye." She slightly smiles before walking out of the kitchen.

Sighing, I stared at my phone as I was counting the seconds that Jesse walks through that door. I had so much to talk to her about and one thing for sure is that I will be apologizing for last night.

I should have never said that to her.

I knew it broke her.

Pacing around the kitchen was the only thing keeping my mind occupied. I look around then started pacing again as I was waiting for her to come, but was getting impatient.

I ran my hand through my hair before hearing something outside then walking to the door just in time for her to knock.

Taking a deep breath, I walk to it before opening it and seeing Jesse stand there. I slightly smile before opening it more, allowing her to walk inside as I shut the door behind her.

"Thanks for coming."

She turns towards me then nods. "You wanted to talk?"

Nodding, I look at her before glancing at the living room. "We can talk in the living room." I said as she followed me in there.

As we both sat on the couch, I watch her for a moment before looking somewhere else. "What happened to your eye?" She asks.

Looking over at her, she was watching me and I knew that I would have to tell her the truth cause she would figure it out sooner than later.