The Fall Ball

19.Lucy

Mrs. Trudy made everyone sing again and again from the beginning whenever someone got the intonation wrong or made the wrong moves. My fingers started to ache, dribbling over the piano and thankfully she also let the choir continue without the piano for a while, making me sit there and contemplate as I stretched my fingers.

Chase was my friend. So was Della and that makes the betrayal feel twice its weight. Suck it up. He likes her. You never stood a chance.

It was that stupid almost kiss at the party. It was the way he'd always teased me, the way his gaze would flicker to my lips, and the way he'd casually throw his arms over my shoulder at random times.

Or the way we'd bump our shoulders when we'd walk side by side.

I stifle a smile as I remember the time he playfully nudged me as we were walking I'm the school hallway.

I bumped my shoulder harder, making him stumble sideways and he counteracted, sending me flying and slamming my face on a locker door. He had caressed the side of my face and had not stopped apologizing profusely the entire day.

I think I read too much into things like that.

Everything was clearly nothing but wishful thinking. I don't know what i was expecting from my confession but the fact that he's uncertain about his feelings for me can only mean one thing. I am just a friend to him.

I didn't think the notion would be a bitter pill to swallow.

I suppose life is full of bitter pills. Maybe there's a sweeter pill for me out there maybe not but I couldn't imagine myself with any other pill but Chase. I never could. How could I?

He was the sweetest boy I have ever known. Of course, he wouldn't take me on a date to make Della jealous. He took me on a date to make me feel better. I knew that and it would still hurt, knowing his feelings for me weren't the same as my feelings for him.

Then again, I wouldn't know. People change. What was that song again? We used to be close but people can go from people you know to people you don't?

I knew that feeling all too well.

My thoughts drifted to Della.

I couldn't hate her for liking Chase too. We weren't friends anymore, she wasn't under any obligation and what's not to like in Chase? He's handsome, easygoing, and sweet. Sometimes he's even funny.

The metaphorical pill stuck in my throat just got a whole lot bigger and bitter.

"Okay Lucy, we need you now." I hear Ms. Trudy and jolt back to reality from my momentary stance. "Okay everybody, start from the beginning. We'll do it one last time and you are free to go to recess."

I quickly nod and straighten myself on my seat, spreading my fingers on the black and white keys, ready to forget Chase with every note that sounds under my fingertips. If only it that was easier.

***

After choir rehearsals were done, we were dismissed. I made my way to the lunchroom with the other choristers.

Fortunately were were the first. The cafeteria serves it's best to the first comers and the line moves way fast with only a few dozens of choristers.

I got me and Kacey a pair of hamburgers and a young drinks and walked back to the music room. I liked it better there. Not only because I was avoiding chase but I had homework to get done with and Kacey was going to help.

I was surprised to find her in the music room already. Talking to our drummer- Jerome Kavinsky. Something about his band. I had asked her to have lunch with me in the music room but I hadn't expected her to be there so early.