Phoenix's Lies

Paranoia

River

The next few days between when Nix saved me, again, and me going back to Maeve we're both tense. Worried that any second now one of us will get a call to say we've been found. Looking over our shoulders in a way that has us paranoid to the point when Libby drops something in the house I see Nix flinch two rooms away, eyes afraid. Luckily with it being the weekend almost it's easier to slip away. To not turn up at school, to stay with one another so we don't end up missing what could be the little time we have left by being apart.

"He'll come you know, one day out of nowhere he'll be there and then this all goes to shit. No matter how much we want it to work." My tone is heavy when we're alone the second night. Both are afraid to sleep for different reasons. Lying awake together. "He'll come out of nowhere and then poof." I make an exploding motion with my hands in the gloom, eyes teary. "Poof then it's all gone. Gone."

Nix frowns. "Not sure if that's entirely true. Surely he'd give a warning. Fair game." His hands play in my hair and I sigh, not sure how to break it to him that Ivar is so far from playing fair I doubt he's even heard of the word. Instead of saying anything though I remain silent, resting my head on his chest and thinking. Choosing the kinder option of silence as I try to figure out how to explain to him about it all. If that's even possible.

The texts from Derek didn't stop but we read them this time, not ignoring them as Nix said he'd been doing once we'd been tipped off that Ivar had found out who we were. And yet as the days drew past with no sign from him we relaxed a little. Not sure if Derek is bluffing or if Ivar's just waiting. Biding his time until he finds the opportunity to strike. The same pattern of threats never stops. Tormenting us every time his phone goes off. Making it harder to hide it from El and Libby. But we try, in the name of keeping them out of it, we try. Even if in the back of my mind I worry that Ivar knows about them too if he knows about us.

That gets me thinking. "We should go." I turn over a little and sit up so I can balance on my elbows next to him. Nix pulls a face. "Think about it, if Derek's threat is true then Ivar knows who we are. He'd know about El and Lib too. We could go. Run and hide somewhere until it blows over a little so they'd be safe."

He fixes me with a look. "Ok potentially good idea but one where would we go and two how would we know what to do or if it would work?" His questions are valid but I can also see the merit to my ideas. "Where would we even go?"

"The Angels have safehouses in case something like this happens or an operation goes wrong," I say, thinking as I talk. "I could talk to Ash. See if he could find one that's near enough we'd not be too far in case we had to come back."

"Ok, how would we know if it worked?"

I shrug, "Not sure, but there has to be a way. There has to be."

"Ok, who'd look after Lena and Lib? My dad can't he knows anything about any of this. As far as he's concerned, you're here because your mom's abusive and Ari's wasn't a choice for whatever reason. He doesn't know you're involved in this or that I am. Who would look after the two of them? And if not him how would we explain where they went?"

I sit up a little more, thinking over what he's said. "Maybe Ari and the others? A member of the Angels would be better since they know what they're protecting the two from. As for your dad, he's out on work trips. We could say we wanted them to be looked after by one of the others if we weren't there so they wouldn't be home alone since they are both only seven."

"And there's another issue. How would we explain it? The running?"

I give another long, low sigh. "I don't know Nix. And I'm not saying to do it either. I'm merely suggesting we keep it in our minds as an option in case shit here gets too fucked up and we need to regroup somewhere that Ivar and his lapdogs can't find us. Because it is us he's looking for. Not me. Not the Angels. Me and you. Me because I crossed him three years ago and you because I refused to make your choice for you and now you're on his blacklist, most likely for life or at least until he catches up to you. to us."