Better With You (gxg)

chapter 13 - only want you

 Riven POV

What Collins said to me when we had our argument hurt me. I know that what we are is not just hooking up. You don't spend all that time and get close to someone you don't want to be with. Or say all the things she has said. I know that she doesn't want to come out, but she doesn't have to lie to me about us or her feelings for me.

I didn't want to speak to her at all today so I avoided her at break and ignored her during lunch. I can't believe she was trying to act like nothing happened. And I know I may have taken things a bit too far but she really pissed me off and I wanted to do the same.

Since we aren't exclusive or anything like she said I figured I would say yes to Dani when she asked me out. I didn't expect Collins to get up and leave though.

"Should we go check on her?" I ask the group.

"No, it is better to just leave her alone. She doesn't do well with feelings" Levi says.

"Yeah one thing you should know about Collins is that when she wants to talk she will come to you" Nico says.

"But I mean aren't you guys worried?" I ask.

"We are, but we have known her for years and it is the same every time. Something happens, we ask her about it or if she is okay, she says she is fine and isolates herself, then when she processes things she talks to us" Saylor says.

"She will talk to us when she wants to. You can try to talk to her but don't be surprised if she doesn't tell you anything" Levi says.

"Oh okay" I say.

I want to go and talk to her, but they all have known her for so long and they are really good friends, they would never leave one of them alone on purpose unless it is how that person genuinely prefers to cope with things.

I try really hard to not think of Collins for the remainder of lunch, but she keeps running through my head. I just want to know if she is okay. After a few minutes I decided to go check on her. I know she doesn't really deserve my comfort right now, but I still care a lot about her.

"Hey I forgot I have to talk to my coach before lunch ends. I'll see you guys later" I say as I stand up from the table.

I don't know where Collins actually went but I figured I should try the gym first. It is the most obvious answer. The court is like her safe space.

I walk over quickly because lunch is almost over. As I open the gym door I don't know what to expect. I don't know if she will even be here or what I will say if I do see her. But what I see is much worse than anything I expect.

I feel like I left my body. I couldn't move. I honestly don't know how I managed to actually turn and leave. I can not believe Collins was kissing someone else.

I don't know where I am going, but I could not stay there anymore. I could not see Collins with Finn for another second.

I find my way to the computer lab. It is the closest isolated classroom that was unlocked. As I enter I feel like I could barely stand. It feels like the room is spinning. I didn't even notice that Collins chased after me.

"Riven wait!" Collins says as she enters the classroom.

"Get away from me Collins"

"Please just let me explain" she steps closer to me.

"Explain what? That you were making out with someone because no need to. I saw it perfectly" I say as I turn to face her. Tears begin to slowly run down my face.

She reaches out her hand for my arm but I push it away. "I'm so sorry. I was just really upset and he was being really nice to me-"

"So you fucking kiss him. I can't believe that I actually went to go look for you to make sure you were okay" I interrupt.

"It's not like I wanted you to see that. I didn't plan for it to happen. It's not like you are all innocent in this"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You said yes to going on a date with Dani! Why do you think I was so upset" she shouts.

"So because I said yes to going on a date, that I wasn't even going to go on, you decide to go and kiss someone who you don't even like"

"Wait, if you aren't going on the date then why did you say yes?"

"Because I was pissed at you for being a jerk to me yesterday!"

"Well I didn't know that you were just saying that to mess with me"

"I was, but since you don't give a shit about my feelings then why should I care about yours" I say as I walk past Collins towards the door.

"Please don't go" Collins says as she grabs my arm to keep me from leaving. I can see the tears fall down her cheek.

"You may have thought that we were nothing serious or exclusive, but I did. I cared about you so much Collins. I only wanted to be with you-"

"And I only want you" Collins interrupts.

"Well you have a funny way of showing it"

"I can't take back what I did no matter how much I wish I could, but what can I do for you to forgive me? I'll do anything. Please"

"Just leave me alone. Whatever we were is over" I say leaving the classroom. She stays behind.

I can understand her not wanting to come out, but to treat me like this. I promised myself after Riley I would never let someone treat me like I was a second choice or that I didn't deserve to be treated well.

I honestly didn't think Collins would make me feel like this. Guess it was on me to think that things with her were going to be different. 

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short chapter today but I will be updating soon :) 

let me know how the story is going for you guys !!