Extras🎬

Luca & Caleb

A/N - sure this wasn't the scene I was planning on releasing yet but it came to me naturally 😍

TW - pretty much the whole chapter is upsetting ❤️

~~~

Isabella

I was a mother on a mission.

I'd experienced enough grief in my life to know that it never completely disappeared, just got easier to cope with. And watching Luca grieve one of his best friends for the past five years had only highlighted that to me; but on days like today, the five year anniversary, it all came rushing back to him like it was yesterday.

And for once in my life, I didn't know how to help him.

He wouldn't even let Stella into his room, and that was when I knew it was bad. He'd cried it out with Ezra this morning, then about an hour later I'd sat with him while he endured one of the worst panic attacks I'd ever seen.

I wanted nothing more than to be able to take his pain away.

And it wasn't until Ezra had spoken to me down in the kitchen that I realised there was someone who could potentially reach out to my son in a way neither of us could; and it came in the form of Uncle Caleb himself...

~

"You summoned me?", he kicked off his shoes and pulled me into a brief hug, "house is quiet". He wasn't wrong; but that was mainly because Ezra had taken Estella out for food, mainly to try and get her to stop trying to force her way into Luca's bedroom.

"It's just me and Luke", I nodded, leaning against the wall as he shrugged off his jacket and hung it up, "which is why I called you". He folded his arms and hummed, scratching his beard for a second. Seeing my brother with a fucking beard was something I'd never get used to, but I guess it was to be expected from a 44 year old man.

"Okay...", he nodded slowly, "elaborate". 

"It's CJ's five year anniversary", I filled him in and he closed his eyes with a sigh, "he's not doing too good today".

"That's to be expected", he shrugged, "and you want me to share my past experiences?".

"You mind?", I winced, knowing I was digging up Caleb's trauma at the expense of making Luca feel a little better.

"Nah, all good", he smiled, "it's been 27 years, I can talk about Aug without breaking down now". I smiled weakly, reaching out and rubbing his arm gently; although I may have not known who my brothers were when Caleb lost August, I'd witnessed just what kind of impact it had had on him, Theo too. And I'd also seen how much he'd healed since then.

"He's uh, snappy- had a panic attack earlier too", I told him and he nodded, "don't take offence if he tells you to fuck off".

"Oh please", he laughed, "I grew up under the same roof as Xander". He ruffled my hair and headed up the stairs; I guess I just had to wait and see if he could work any magic...

~

Luca

You never knew how crippling grief was until you were experiencing it first hand.

The crushing weight that was permanently on your chest, the restricted breathing whenever you thought about the person you'd lost, the fucking pain of knowing you were never seeing them again; it was shit.

And on the days where it all came flooding back, I wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and vanish from reality; I didn't wanna feel anything today. I was exhausted and it wasn't even three in the afternoon, I was ready to just sleep the rest of this shit day away.