Criminal Minds Oneshots

David Rossi- Ships

You thought it was pretty weird that your team members were shipping you with none other than David Rossi, even if you did have a massive crush on him. Why were they so invested in this relationship that would never happen when they had a job to do? A very serious job at that.

Maybe they just needed something lighthearted to joke about to escape all the doom and gloom. But it was really starting to get on your nerves nonetheless. You made one interaction with Rossi and the whole team went on a frenzy. Somehow they even got a picture of you fast asleep, cuddling up to an also fast asleep Rossi on the jet. They called it "proof that you were perfect for each other."

Rossi seemed to realize what they were doing too, and he'd get all blushy and awkward whenever he mentioned it to you or when anyone brought it up. It was utterly adorable, but that wasn't the point! They were trying to play matchmaker with two people that were perfectly fine being friends...almost.

Well at least you assumed he didn't want anything to change.

You two often did play along with it, which was fun but utterly painful at the same time. Pretending you had something you knew you'd never have.

Rossi would usually have his arm draped over your shoulder whenever you walked into the building together. He'd also announce your "engagement" to the team, sometimes introducing you as Mrs. Rossi number four, you ignored the butterflies that shot through your stomach for that one. You'd just cuddle up to his side and play along with the banter, giving him ridiculous nicknames and making sexual comments with him just to gross out the team, it was their fault after all.

The playful relationship got so common that when the team needed to go undercover for a case, nobody hesitated when they all turned to you and Rossi to be the couple.

"Oh seriously?" You hissed at them.

"Well you already act like a couple," Morgan said. "Plus the unsub targets older couples."

Both you and Rossi glared daggers at Morgan, but he merely shrugged. "Rossi's still the oldest. So it's either you or Hotch since you're the same age."

Hotch looked like he would fire Morgan at that very second.

"Very flattering, but I'd rather not," Rossi replied hastily. 

"Okay it's settled. Rossi and y/n will be our lovely couple."

"I don't get paid enough for this," you mumbled.

"And make sure you make it convincing," Morgan smirked.

You threw your empty coffee cup at him, very much wishing it was still full of steaming coffee.

Your skin as crawling with nerves as you walked into the club with your hand slipped into Rossi's. It felt warm and calloused, and you tried to ignore the butterflies that didn't seem to want to go away. You were so close to him. You could smell his cologne with every breath you took. You could smell him. It was almsot overwhelming.

He pulled you to the bar and ordered two drinks. He only took a few sips just to try and blend in with everyone else. You could still smell the alcohol on his breath though, when he leaned in and murmured.

"Remember. He goes after couples who are over the top about each other. So he'll appear bitter, perhaps because of a loved one he lost. It's his way of ensuring that no couple gets their happily ever after. He'll be in his late forties to early fifties.

You shuddered, not because of what he was saying, you already knew all of that, but instead because he was so close, whispering to you with the scent of alcohol on his tongue.