trying- daryl dixon ff ✔️

035, maniac.

lilia had left alexandria and was in the woods, chillin. she loved it out there, and she hated it in alexandria. she knew daryl was gonna be mad at her for leaving but in her mind he could suck it. she needed this, to mourn, to think, to just get away.

she was reading a book she found in a cabin in the woods when she saw some walkers she grabbed her knife but before she could kill it she saw an arrow go through its head. she jumped when she saw daryl, she knew she would be in trouble. to her surprise he hugged her really tight before grabbing his arrow.

"are you mad at me?" lilia asked.

"no, i understand why ya needed a break but you coulda told me or ya friend." daryl said understanding, kneeling to her level.

"i hate alexandria." lilia said. "it's been a week since i've been there and i'm so much happier then i was."

"why didn't ya tell me?" daryl asked worried about her. "to be honest i hate it too, it was just like the old world."

"that's what i felt, i just hated my old life, and the everyone you love dies life is more my style." she said kind of jokingly. "yeah, i get it." daryl said leaning on a tree with her.

"while you were gone rick got into a fight." daryl said. "is he mad at me?" lilia asked. "honey, he's not really mad he was caring about carl, he understands how much those letters mean to you. carls in a lot of trouble." daryl said putting an arm around her.

"i tried to tape them a little. but it didn't help. now everything i have from them is dead." lily said looking at her white converse, that were very dirty.

"im still here," daryl said. "your not my real family dad." lily said.

"i know." daryl said, "i try really hard to make you feel okay, i've never been this way."

"dad, i know and i love you, but you don't have to take care of me. i'm 8 but i'm mature. besides, everyone i meet tell me you hate me and say you never wanted to be my dad and just felt like you couldn't leave me but i never believe them but i feel like everyone else hates me except you." lily said. daryl's heart dropped from those words. he felt bad for his 8 year old daughter, she was so young, she didn't deserve this.

"carls in denial of his on shit, nothing that he does is your fault." daryl told her. they got up and made a fire for the night, daryl wanted to be out there with her, to keep her safe.

"yer hair is pretty." daryl said with a grin. "thanks." lily said, she had short brown hair it was more curly now. they set sail to find something to eat. daryl was happy to stay out there with her, since neither of them liked alexandria. lilia thought about how many walkers she had killed, she didn't keep track anymore. she didn't see much of a point.  she had always been flexible she moved around, she never had a house for more then a month, her mom would find houses of people that were on vacation and they'd live there.

lilias life was confusing, crazy, unexpected, she could barely understand it herself. she had told daryl stories, and his eyes were wide even though he had a bad childhood also. lilia quietly read her book as daryl ate a snake he hunted. lily walked to the cabin they had found, it was really fancy actually. she walked into the restroom. she really just needed a break from life. she looked into the mirror, tears began to run down her face. she wiped her tears and walked outside, her face still red obvious she had been crying.

daryl looked up at her still chomping on his snake. he squinted his eyes. "you aight?" he asked.

"i'm okay," she said grabbing her stuff and walked back into the cabin. "where you goin?" he asked. "dad, can i tell you something?" she asked nervously. "yeah, anything." daryl said looking worried at her.

"remember the day my mom came to the prison." he nodded. "well, that day i didn't want to show you my wrist so i kinda got drunk off of whiskey, and acted like my fucked up life was a dream. maybe i might wake from this nightmare." she grabbed her knife. daryl jumped up and knocked it out of her hand, and grabbed her. "don't." daryl said.

she cried hard into his shoulder, she was going to that cabin to kill herself. daryl just saved her life. but that wouldn't last long.

~~

daryl had found some alcohol to drink, lilia stayed far from it. they went to a random house, lilia found it familiar.

they sat opposite of eachother. "you wanna play a game?" lily asked. "sure." daryl said. "it's never have i ever." lilia said. daryl looked at his shoes, knowing he was going to do the same thing he did with beth. but he agreed.

"never have i ever, gone on vacation?" lilia asked. daryl didn't drink anything. "yeah, me neither." lily shrugged.

"never have i ever, had a dad that cared." daryl got a bit personal. lilia didn't drink her water. "i thought." daryl said confused. "he was always high, and drunk he didn't really care." lily said. "okay," daryl said leaning back, growing drunk.

"never have i ever, done drugs." lily said, not noticing what she said.

"that's what you think of me?" he asked acting kind of chill. she stayed silent. he got up.

"imma get more." daryl said being really loud. "oh yeah! it's my turn! alright, i've never asked for protection from a random ass man! i've never complained about my childhood! fuck! i've never cut my wrists actin depressed!" he yelled.

lilia didn't cry but she got up. "i never shoulda went with a clear maniac." lily said, "yeah i never shoulda picked you up!" he yelled.

"then maybe you shoulda let me kill myself the first time." lilia said. daryl's eyes widened. "you shouldn'ta grabbed the knife. you shoulda let me cut myself to shreds. you should've let me just die on the road!" she yelled.

she walked outside, daryl walked behind her. "get over it, your families dead!" daryl yelled. "so is mine! you don't see me complaining!" lily looked back menacingly.

"wow. you have some nerve talking to me like that." lilia said. "no! you have nerve talking to your dad like that!" he yelled back. "your not my motherfucking dad!" she screamed walking away. she slid down the wall beside the house crying, daryl was drunk, she understood. but this tended to happen to her a lot. especially with her family.

authors note 😚😚
dw daryl and lily are fine :)

yes... the title is after the conan gray song.

1177 words

"... when the alcohol kicked in. said you wanted me dead..."

-conan gray