051, anger.

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lilia dixon had never imagined carl grimes dying. he was dead now. she didn't know how to feel.

maggie walked into her trailer furious. "that was my friend you pushed off the side of the wall!"

"that was my friend he hung." she said annoyed. "i don't care-"

"not a good time maggie, leave me alone." she said closing carls letter. "what is wrong with you?" she yelled.

"what is wrong with me? you notice my only friend i had left died like an hour ago! you didn't shed a damn tear did you?! no you didn't because you only care about yourself and glenn! you got over beth and hershel in days, i didn't even notice because i loved you. i literally made the nickname mags because i loved you! but now your all mad because glenn is dead? i'm sad too, trust me. but you don't care about anyone else but yourself, you couldn't care less if everyone in alexandria, hilltop, the kingdom dies. you just want negan to be dead. you blame him for all the problems you put on yourself! negan had a reason to kill the-"

"so what? you stand up for negan now!" she screamed. "no, he's a murderer none the less but all i'm saying is..." she paused for dramaticness. "he should've killed you not glenn."

lily grabbed her stuff and walked out slamming the door as hard as she possibly could a bang coming with it. "along with that fucking nickname." lily didn't care about maggie anymore. she didn't feel any remorse towards her. everyone was talking to gregory about letting the alexandrians stay there for a while.

"no they are not allowed to stay here." gregory said being ignorant lily walked in soon before. "you wanna do this again dumbass?" she asked anger burning into her heart.

he nodded eagerly.

"your just like everyone else. you only care about yourself, you have killed one walker in your life. and maggie killed it for you, i'm sick and tired of your bullshit." lily said. "please just stop." he begged sarcastically.

"that's what your mom said last night." she said with a smirk. daryl choked out a laugh, rosita had to hide her face from laughing. tara smiled.

"not the point. anyways, you are insane. you should just shoot yourself right now so you don't have a more painful death from me. we all know no one is going to care. that's the worst thing to know. that no one is going to care about you after death. you're an npc, whoever programmed you did it WRONG." gregory smiled smuggly.

"this is why you were the 4 eyed geek that took advanced biology in highschool and failed, but i don't know if you remember that because it was in the year 1947 witcho old ass. you're probably a 90 year old virgin to be honest. because who would like YOU? think about that. after, jump off a bridge fuckface." she said walking out, that felt good. she sat at a picnic table with a few other people from her group. she grabbed a plate of food and walked off so no one talked to her. when she was done eating she jumped on her bike and went to alexandria, it was a long ride but she could handle it. she walked into alexandria and saw the graveyard, when she saw a grave that said C on it she began to cry she sat beside his grave.

"hey carl. i know it's only been a little bit but i miss you so much. you brought such a light into my life. you were an amazing brother, anyone who met you should be honored. i love you more then anyone. i'm sorry you didn't get a proper funeral, but no one gets one these days. i'm so excited to see you again after i die, that's the first thing i'm doing. seeing you and the others. your the best friend i could ever ask for, no offense to cali and jonah but you were there since the start. thanks for my letter dude, it means a lot. enid misses you a ton, rick and michonne aren't doing well but everyone else seems to act like you're still here. i'm gonna talk to negan with rick today. tell him about you. i'm so sorry this happened to you bro. love you" with that, lily walked away from her best friends grave. she saw rick walking around.

"uncle rick... how are you holdin up?" she asked him. "i'm holding up, fine." he replied. "it's okay if you're not okay. you don't wanna tell negan do ya?" she asked. he nodded his head. "i'll do it, don't worry." lily said giving him a light hug. she grabbed the walkie talkie.

"lemme talk to negan." she pressed the button. "who's askin?"

"lilia dixon." she said. "lily!" negan shouted. "why don't we meet up and talk about this in perso-"

"carls dead." negan went silent for a moment. "how?"

"what!?" she asked in a stern tone. "was it us? the bombs?" he asked worried.

"it wasn't you! he went out to save someone. he got bit." lily said a few tears running down her face.

"fuck." negan said. "rick okay?"

"what the hell do you think!? his son just died! no he's not okay, he's playin it off, he's a strong dude. still hurts." lily said slowly growing quieter as she spoke, she was walking in circles furiously.

"i'm sorry, really." negan said. "me and maggie got in a fight." lily said.

"over what?" negan asked. "i told her she needed to stop being ignorant because she didn't care carl died, she just cared about glenn she got over her dad and sister so quickly. she just wants you dead, that's all she wants in life. negan..." she paused worried she was doing something wrong.

"yeah?" he asked. "i really don't hate you." she admitted letting out a breath. "thanks kid." he said. "everyone sees me like a puppet. i'm not a monster. i swear." he also admitted. she felt like her feelings weren't okay.

"meet me at the grocery store down the road on 15th street." she said. "okay." he said.

they both met up there. "you don't hate me?" negan asked. "no. i don't, it's not like i like you either. you killed two lights in the world, and i understand we killed hundreds of innocent people. i'm so sorry about that, really. i'm sorry. i'm not trying to plead my case but i told them not to attack and they did. i'm sorry we killed your people, i really am. i know you have feelings and we acted like you didn't. i know you cared about your friends. i'm also sorry me and carl talked about your wife, i know that must've hurt a lot to turn into the person you are, it took a lot of trauma to make me the insensitive asshole i am today." she laughed a little. "i don't like you, i trust you. that's really hard for me to say but i care about you, i know rick is going to kill you at some point. im sorry, really."

she meant every word of that. tears welled up in negans eyes. "im so sorry lilia, for killing your friends for hurting you so bad. for being a bitch. i know rick is going to kill me, he's wanted to since he met me. i trust you lily, i've always been interested by you, you're really strong and smart and straight forward and i admire that about you. i dont know what happened before i met you but i can tell it was traumatizing, i'm sorry that happened to you." negan said. "i'm not good at this opening up stuff, i know. i also know none of you are ever gonna forgive me."

"i don't forgive you, i feel bad that i'm getting over this fast, cause i love glenn, he meant the world to me. jonah was so amazing. he was an angel. thanks for talking to me. i really appreciate it." lily said. "i know you deserve so so so much more then this, but i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry i really mean it." he said, she nodded and walked out of the store. getting back on her bike she grabbed her knife ready to kill some walkers and going to hilltop.

she ran into a few walkers and killed them with her knife. when she arrived she saw daryl laying on the bed reading a magazine.

"sorry i was gone so long." she said setting her things down. "your good, what were you doin?" he asked.

"rick was having trouble telling negan about carl, i did. and i went and talked to him in person." she said. "about what?" he asked. "i got in a fight with maggie about her selfishness." she said.

"okay... that doesn't answer my question." daryl said. lily felt weak. "promise you won't get mad." she said.

"i swear." daryl said. "i told him i didn't hate him." she said.

"you don't?" he asked. "no, i really really don't." she said. they had a pretty deep conversation, nothing was going to make daryl not hate negan. lily was okay with that.

authors note

lily and negan are a dynamic duo... sorry i just love negan too much 🤭🤭

1574 words

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