Chapter 23

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I wasn't completely sure what was going on. Everything was so strange and confused for a while, until I suddenly got thrown in my room and I was suddenly sitting in front of my computer again. There were headphones on my ears, I was sipping coffee from a glass in the shape of a frog and pressing buttons on my computer, completely concentrated in the game that I was playing. I just attacked someone when it was like something suddenly tried to make me remember something. I stopped and frowned with confusion. My eyes travelled around my dark and messy room, then I just shrugged to myself, thinking that I was probably just tired and continued playing my game.  

When I attacked someone and tried to kill them with a sword a memory appeared in my head. A confident girl, with long ginger hair and in red clothes, fighting against a giant monster. I blinked with surprised, confused because of the memory. I had no idea why I was thinking about things like that, they were distracting me from the game that I was playing. And when I got distracted I wasn't very good, which leaded to my team loosing. I couldn't afford loosing another game, I already lost the past one. If I remembered correctly I was loosing quite a lot of games in a while and that was why I had to step up my game, because winning here, in front of the computer was the only thing I had after all. There were no friends that I could count on, no real life, but I was happy like that. Right? 

The memory of the ginger haired girl fighting suddenly reappeared in my head. Other faces showed up next to her, a brown haired boy with emerald green eyes, grinning like an idiot, a serious dark haired dude, a bored looking blue haired girl, someone with a giant axe on their back, another girl with white hair and red eyes, another guy, there were so many people next to her, by her side. She looked strong and confident. I was sure that I could never be like her. I wasn't strong, I wasn't confident, I was just the gamer addict that had no social skills. 

With that thought I continued playing the game on my computer until the girl in my memory suddenly smiled to someone and said: '' I'm Natsumi. ''  

That was when I instantly froze.  

Natsumi.  

It was my name.  

The next second a bunch of other memories began appearing in my head, all in fast motion. So many people, so many fights, it was all flashing in front of me. I collapsed on my knees, grabbed my head and groaned at the sudden pain that came with all of the memories. Now I knew that what I was remembering wasn't just some girl. It was me. I was the confident one, fighting monsters and helping people. But I was also the antisocial girl with her favorite spot in front of the computer. Both of those persons were me.  

But now something was telling me that I had to make a decision. I didn't know which one was the right, which was the wrong one, but I was sure that whatever way I would chose, it would change my life forever. But I didn't want to chose, how could I possibly pick a favorite between two sides of myself? They were both me, I couldn't just reject the part of myself that I didn't like as much as the other one.  

I was confused, scared, angry, there were so much emotions building up inside my head, but I somehow still managed to make a decision.

I stood up from the ground in my room and turned away. Then I calmly walked away from the two parts of myself. I couldn't possibly chose, that was why I decided to go with the only other way possible. I was going to find a third me, the one that will fully work for myself. I didn't know where was she hiding, but I was determined to try to find her.  

Suddenly my eyes snapped open again and I found myself in a completely different, much colder place, laying on a bed and staring at a familiar grey ceiling. It took me a few moments to know where was I. '' What happened? '' I instantly asked and sat up.  

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