Think Again (Camren)

Sofi & The Slamming Lockers

Camila's PoV

"Remind me to never get involved with Lauren again," I said rather rudely. I watched Sofi's face scrunch up as she tentatively approached me and sat on my bed.

"What the hell happened?" She asked, her face contorting into an angrier look.

"Well, let's see," I sat up on my bed and held up my fingers, knocking one down at a time while I pointed out the possibilities of what happened, "I'm cheating on my boyfriend, I had sex with Lauren, she's ignoring me, I suck at hockey because of all this and the big kicker," I laughed bitterly, "it's all my fault."

Sofi swatted me and scowled. "It's not all your fault Mila! Sure you made a bad judgement call, but you can't seriously be taking the blame on your own."

"I am, and you know why?" I ran my hands through my hair. "The moment I saw Lauren at my birthday I knew there was something between us. The moment she spoke to me I was positive there was something between us and the moment, God the very moment we kissed, I knew that I couldn't ever let her go. And that's wrong."

"Why? Because you're with Austin?" Sofi tilted her head.

"That and because things shouldn't have gotten that far," I whined and smothered my face with a pillow. Sofi fought me with it until I lost. Blowing hair out of my face and sighed deeply. "It just hurts so much," I whispered.

"What does?" My little sister, the great listener. Possibly the best friend I've ever had and it only took me seventeen years to realize it. She rubbed her hand on my back as I felt my body crack, wracked with sobs.

"To be so fucking in love with her," I cried, sobbing heavily in between. "God Sofi, you have no idea what she does to me. She makes me feel like I could do anything, be anyone. And tonight she tells me I'm Austin's and to be girlfriend-y with him! She tells me the only reason she says 'Camila' is just purely sexual."

Sofi sat up abruptly and narrowed her eyes. "She fucking said that?" She seethed.

I blinked the tears away and nodded, looking at her. "She didn't mean it though, I know she didn't. She's just hurting."

"What the fuck ever!" Sofi laughed harshly and began to pace my room. "Oh boy, she better hope she doesn't run into me at school tomorrow." Her fist pounding into her hand. My eyes widened and I realized this was the first time I had seen Sofi really pissed. It was like watching myself in a mirror.

"Hey now," I stood up and stopped her, holding her firmly in place. I was much stronger than she was though. "Don't go all spaztastic on me, okay? We need time to cool off."

Sofi reluctantly nodded and sighed, her tense muscles relaxing. "I meant what I said before though," she whispered, "she made you shed tears and that doesn't sit right with me."

"Sofi," I softly said her name, "I've made her cry too. Her and I are in this together and it's not like I'm the only person broken in all of this. You should've seen her. So please, don't go treating this like I'm the victim here." I held her gaze firmly.

"I can't help it Mila, you're my big sister and I love you," Sofi sighed and pulled me into a hug.

I swallowed and smiled, holding her tighter.

What I would give to have all those years back and make them right with her.

"I love you too," I whispered.

- - - -

Lauren's PoV

"Fucking locker," I fumbled with the combo, trying to balance my books in one arm. Finally, I managed to wrench it open and looked inside. I sighed sadly at the picture taped up carefully. Camila and I in her bedroom, lying on the bed while studying. Sofi gave me it four days before.

I jumped back as my locker slammed shut, nearly catching my arm in the process. "What the-" I frowned and turned to see Sofi standing there, one hand on my locker she closed and the other on her hip and one pissed off look on her face. "Hi?"

"I promised her I wouldn't talk to you because she doesn't want you to know she's hurting, but screw it," Sofi whispered, her tone not nearly as angry as her look, "you know Laur, I really like you. And I know that things between you and Mila are hard right now and frankly, I realize it's none of my business," she looked around the halls before continuing as I stepped back slightly, "but she's my sister and it hurts me to see her cry. What is going on?"

Great. The Cabello inquisition. Exactly what my day needed.

"Sofi," I leaned my back against the locker and bit my lip, "I'm going to talk to her."

And I was.

When I found the right time for myself.

"She's not coming to school today," she sighed, "she's excused."

I frowned. "Is she sick?" I was concerned.

Sofi swallowed and shook her head. "No, she's depressed and she needs a day to breathe without you nearby avoiding her."

"Ouch?" I scowled and pushed myself up off my locker and reopened it. "I have to get to class."

"I'm sorry, I don't want to come off as a bitch to you but with the way you're acting, you make it seem like all of this is just one big game to you." Sofi raised her voice a little.

"A game?" I shook my head and slammed my own locker door.

"Was Austin right about you? Sleeping around with girls who aren't even worth the time of day? Why did you go and tell Camila that saying her name was purely sexual?!" Sofi yelled, the halls grew quiet. I slapped my hand over her mouth and shoved her into an empty classroom. "Use her much?"

I gasped. "No!" I shut the door. "Listen, I never meant that okay? I was upset and she was just pushing my buttons. She's not the only one hurting Sofi. She's not the only one who's feeling this way." I was being honest. Believe me when I say that as soon as those words 'pure sexual want' came out of my mouth, I was punching myself hard on the inside. I didn't want her thinking that. Not for a second.

"She's trying to talk to you! Not push your goddamn buttons." She spat and shook her head. "Just...talk to her Lauren." Sofi looked at me one last time before heading back into the halls.

I knew I needed to face Camila sooner or later. As much as I wanted too, I couldn't forget that she was over at my house at least twice a week because of Austin. I'd face her eventually.

What would I say? How could I explain my actions?

Making up my mind, I decided I'd just be honest.

No matter what.

I'd try not to run. No matter how scared I was.