Baby boy ✔️

37:

We're almost at 10k!!!! Thank you my lovelies for sticking around and reading.

37:

Torture would be an absolute understatement of what class had been. I texted Jakob to meet me by the steps were we had sat together at lunch as soon as class is over but he hadn't responded. I didn't know if Vee had said anything yet and this was beginning to drive me crazy.

As soon as the bell had rung I was out of my seat and out of the classroom without a second though rushing towards my locker to grab what I needed for the weekend so I could go and wait for Jakob by the steps.

My heart was pounding so harshly in my chest that I couldn't register anything around me and I was having trouble breathing. Why couldn't my life be some smooth sailing ride instead of the ship at sea in the middle of the storm that it was.

I have to tell myself to focus three times on what I'm doing because I keep forgetting what I need to take home with me. My mind is only going over one thing; did Vee tell Jakob?

I just need an answer. If I had the answer already I wouldn't be freaking out the way I am right now, or maybe it's because deep down I already know the answer which is why I'm so freaked out and in an absolute panic right  now.

Just as I'm about to say fuck it and give up on packing everything in my locker, it's not like I'm going to do any of the homework I was given at home over the weekend, I hear someone's voice behind me causing me to freeze, my body going as rigidly still as stone.

"Is it true?" Jakob's voice is harsh and bitter filled with venom, I've never heard him like this before.

My question has been answered.

I don't remember how I managed to make myself move but next thing I know I'm staring at Jakob face to face and he looks furious but more so hurt. As if the pain I put him through was fuelling his anger.

Jakob was never one to get angry, for as long as I can remover he has been, happy go lucky, always positive, Jakob Denton. I pushed him to this. I deserve what ever he has to throw at me and I wouldn't blame him for anything he did next.

After everything I put him through and I'm the one crying right now. People are gathering around watching us and I feel pathetic. I'm crying in public but now just that I'm crying because I feel sorry for myself, not just for Jakob. It's because I know that now he will never look at me the same again. I've lost the last person I had and it's all my fault. Just like that the world has come crashing down on me not giving me a second to save myself.

"Jakob I..." I lamely attempt but what am I going to say, Sorry I lied to you but can we still keep dating, I highly doubt that will go anywhere.

Even if I wanted to say something I couldn't, there words won't come out no matter how much I try. It's not so much they get stuck in the way out its that I can't think of anything because I know that no matter what I say nothing will make it better.

I've betrayed his trust and that's hard to earn back. I should know what that feels like, I hate being under the same roof as my mother let alone looking at her or talking to her.

The fact that Jakob is standing here looking at me must mean something right? But then again the first time I saw my mum I was furious, I let it all out, and then decided I was done.

That could be what Jakob is doing.

"Everyone said so much crap about you and for so long I stood up for you. Even my mum warned me about you and you just..." He trailed off allowing his arms to fall to his sides in defeat. "You know what Naz, you're not even worth it." That hurt more than him yelling at me, that hurt more than my mum leaving and coming back, I have never felt something hit me as harshly as his words just did.

It felt as if the whole world had shut down, the sun had gone out, the moon disappeared, and even the stars had stopped shining. I was enveloped in only darkness.

I was right, he was done with me and here was nothing I could do about it. After all my cautions and pushing people away so I don't get hurt I still ended up being to one to break in the end, but I took Jakob down with me.

He stared at me in absolute defeat, a harshness that only came from reality compared to the way he used to smile at me all the time that made me feel like a dream. I hated how much he smiled, it seemed humanity impossible for someone to always be that happy, but now I wanted nothing more than to see that smile on his face again.

If I could take it back three months to that stupid dare and stop myself from ever doing anything to Jakob and leaving him out of this mess, my mess, completely I would. But the world doesn't work like that. There is no such thing as take backs or second chances or even happily ever after. Everything is in crack from the start and shatters once the pressure hits.

Everyone has a breaking point and I pushed Jakob to his.

No longer being able to handle the way Jakob is looking at me, it's destroying me all at once reminding me how horrible I am, I slam my locker do'er shut and make to walk away which was impossible thanks to the group of people that had surrounded to watch what was playing out. Only now do I realise the hushed whispers and interested looks trying to take in as much gossip as they could.

How pathetic is today's society? All they focus on is gossiping and feeding off of other people's misery. I would rather be alone than surround myself with these type of people.

I make he mistake of looking up when I leave and I catch the sight of Vee grinning proudly to herself, the wicked bitch is obviously happy with the outcome and I have given her just what she wanted. Tori and Zoey beside her whispering to each other and laughing. I knew they were never my friends but it still hit me like a knife to the chest seeing this. No actually Jakob was the knife to the chest, the was it being twisted around making sure it did as much damage as possible.

I feel someone's grip on my arm causing my attention to break from the girls and fall on the owner of the hand. It's Nella and she is glaring at the girls as if she was planning to rip their heads off. I was so sick and tired of all this high school drama, it's messy and shitty and accomplishes nothing.

Nella opened her mouth to say something but I pushed her hand off of me before making my way out of the school bursting into a run to get as far away from here as possible not caring how pathetic I look right now as I run away sobbing so hard I feel my lungs tightening begging for air.

Every time I think things possibly couldn't get any worse I'm proven wrong.

How could life be this unfair?

Surely others didn't go through the this type of rubbish.