Baby boy ✔️

38:

38:

Staring at the countless buildings in the distance didn't help. I wanted to feel distant right now, small and meaningless so my problems felt like nothing but the day time didn't have the same affect the night held when looking out in the distance from high rise buildings.

I know when it gets dark I will get that relief I am looking for, to be concealed, and seeing all those lights will signify a life reminding me that my problems are nothing compared to the world around me.

It's sunset now, the sky a mix pinky colour that lets you now it's so close to dark and a dark purple almost black colour letting me know I won't have to wait long now. I've been here for three hours and felt nothing but soon it will all be okay.

Another night will come signifying that another day has passed and that all we can do is hope for better.

After what happened yesterday with Jakob I have felt empty inside. I'm looking for a relief but I don't know where to find one.

"I had a feeling you would be here."

I turn around rapidly at the sound of the voice behind me causing my breath to hitch. The last person I ever expected to follow me or try to find me was standing right in front of me. I didn't expect anyone to bother looking for me but seeing Nella right in front of me was more surprising.

"Why didn't you tell me about your mum?" I stare at her dumbfounded as she moves closer towards me. For the first time in the almost ten years I've been friends I notice that she is looking cautious as if she is scared to overstep incase she might get snapped or burned.

I wonder if I should yell at her to go away or thank my lucky stars that someone, although the most unexpected person in the world, had showed up. The last thing I wanted right now was to feel alone so I guess my pleas were answered by the universe.

"How did you find out?" I say instead of shutting her away. I've done enough of that to last me a lifetime and look where it got me, in a bottomless ditch alone.

"I went to your house and your mum answered the door, I realised that's why you weren't at school or week or at home when Jakob texted me. How long?" She takes the seat next to me still watching me cautiously as if I were a ticking time bomb about to explode.

"I don't know how long she's been back for but she moved into the house while we were at the away game." It was obvious we were using this topic to divert our attention away from the real issue between us, e issue that I had caused.

I couldn't help but wonder if we would continue beating around the bush or address the topic. It didn't feel right talking to Nella right now after what had been let out into the open. It was easier to pretend like nothing was wrong when I hadn't said anything.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She questions the hurt clear in her tone letting me know just how offended she was by the fact that I hadn't gone to her.

How the hell was I supposed to? After what I had said to her I wasn't going to go to her for a shoulder to cry on. I had a little dignity.

As if to push my point across I giver her a knowing look as if to say 'are you really asking me that question?' Which she seems to understand because she sighs in response running a hand through her brown hair that I've always been incredibly jealous of, if you saw Nella's hair you would understand.

"Naz when I say you're my best friend I mean it. You know all my flaws and you still choose to stay by my side that's what I thought we did. I didn't know you felt that way." She admits causing my breathing to hitch as my nerves build up. I didn't think we would address the topic so quickly. I thought we would sit in awkward silence for hours until one of us broke.