Rudraksh

21 - My darling ( Edited POV )

When I woke up the next day, I was still in the same position as I fell asleep. My hand was still over his heart, feeling it's rhythmic beating but there were two things that were different. One, he had his hand over mine and the two, his eyes were back to that immeasurable beauty, they were no longer red but full of life and Lord Mahadev... he was awake ! Panicking, I drew my hand away.

Well I tried.

His grip was way too tight.

"Let go of me !" I exclaimed and earned a cheeky smile.

He was unbelievable, that much I knew. I almost killed him and there he was... he was doing nothing but flash me smiles and care for me like he always did. Everything was still the same, he was still the same.

"Now why would I do that ? Why would you ? Don't you like it ? Do you know, Mrs Rana ? I can hear you breathe... The beating of your heart ? That's the only sound my mind focuses on. Are you aware of your own heart beating faster whenever I am close to you ? Hm ? Like it's now.... I swear to Mahakal, nothing I've ever heard comes close to the beauty of it." He said, tracing the spot on my neck right above my pulse. I gulped. His fingertips sent sensations like ocean waves down my body and the intensity of his eyes was sensuous enough to make me dizzy.

Now, he was doing a whole lot of things except for just listening to my heartbeat. He was making me feel things I decided I wasn't supposed to feel. He was slowly breaking the walls that I, with so difficulty, had built around myself for over years. I knew that it might be a lot for him too, I knew how much he was suffering, how much he was enduring just to find a way to my heart.

"Enough." I said and pushed him away. Caught off guard, he toppled off the bed in a rather comical way. I suppressed a laugh.

"Oww !" Rubbing his behind, he added "Good morning to you too, Mrs Rana."

"The Puja starts at noon. We have two hours to be there."

"Fine... but at least tell me what happened last night."

I frowned, "You don't remember what happened ?"

"No I don't. I remember that I was going to die for no medicine was working anymore. I remember asking Veena to leave. I told her to call you. I remember seeing you... I thought I was dreaming until you made me drink that vile liquid. I don't remember anything after that." He said, still sitting on the floor with the russet and golden bedsheet all wrapped around him.

So he didn't remember confessing his love. I didn't know how to react to that. I was ecstatic when I heard him say that he loved me, that I was his forever, that I was everything for him and I knew he meant each and every word but I didn't know how to feel now that he had forgotten those confessions he made. If anything, I was relieved. Guilty as I was, I was relieved because I was a coward. Yes. That's what I was for I had no guts to either confront his feelings for me or my own for him. Which were rapidly changing. I almost killed him and he accepted it with all that love he possessed for me. On top of that, all of that even after he thought I intended it all with no regrets. God my heart ached.

"After that you fell asleep and that's why you don't remember what happened."

"Makes sense. Okay so... you can take bath here. I'll manage it somewhere else." He said as he was about to untangle himself but stopped when he saw my face.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"In a spare chamber I mean." He said and held his hands up defensively. Then pouting like a little child, mumbled while untangling himself from the sheets, "Looking at me with murder in eyes. What wonderful way to treat your husband after he knocked death's doors no less ! To look at him ! Oh how pleasant !"