Chapter 28

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"What happened?" I asked Felix as we got in my car. I'm genuinely concerned about why he wants to talk to me and I have a feeling he doesn't want to be my friend anymore (or whatever we are, I don't even know).

He stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry" I said to Felix without thinking.

"...Why?" Felix furrowed his eyebrows.

"I honestly don't know but I know I did something. I didn't mean to make this uncomfortable, i'm really sorry" I said to Felix.

"...Not at all, it's my fault, I've been kinda distant today..." He said slowly.

"Yeah... I missed you today, a lot" I smiled a little.

He smiled back "Me too"

"Then, is everything okay?" I asked him "Are we okay?"

"Yes" He smiled hugely. "It's just- I don't want you to leave" He spat out.

What?

"Leave? Leave what? Leave YOU? Never" I said almost yelling. "I could never"

"Has Jihoon called you yet?" He suddenly asked.

"Nope, I don't think he is" I unconsciously put on a sad face. I mean, I don't care if he doesn't come but he really is a great friend and I miss him.

Felix noticed my sad face and furrowed his eyebrows. "Let's go" He said fast.

"Where?" I said smiling.

"I want ice cream" Felix said.

We drove to a convenience store and bought ice cream. "Mmmmm, this is goooood!" I said as I tried my ice cream. We were eating in the car.

"Really? Can I try it?" Felix asked me smirking.

Ummm? My heart is pounding so fast.

"Yes" I moved my ice cream close to his face. He took it and bit my ice cream popsicle.

"Ohhh, it's good. I liked it" He smiled and gave me my ice cream back.

I took a bite out of my ice cream on the same place Felix took the bite. Indirect kissing...

***

"But why? I still don't get it" I asked Felix after he apologized for the third time for being cold and distant.

"Do I really have to tell you? It's pathetic" He replied cringing.

"Of course you have to. We have to tell each other everything, remember?" I said to him.

"Fine" He gave up.

"And be honest, don't lie" I told him.

He looked at my eyes serious "I'm scared"

"Scared? Why?" I asked concerned.

Is he actually scared because he thinks I'll forget about him?

"Scared that he will call you" He looked down.

"Jihoon? Fuck Jihoon" I replied. I so badly wanted to tell him I love him but I can't, I'm not ready.

"What?" He asked chuckling.

"You heard me, I don't care" I lied. I do care but it's not as important anymore.

"What? Don't you want him to come?" He asked confused.

'I love you' I can't say that, I really can't...

"I do, but it's... difficult" I said slowly.

"What is difficult?" He asked again.

"...Everything is..." I looked down.

I started driving to the members apartment without saying a word. I really am not ready, I wish I was but i'm not...

***

I parked in front of his apartment complex and turned towards Felix.

"Why are you scared he will call me?" I asked with a serious tone.

"You will forget about me" He looked up to me and his voice broke. No.

"Forget about you? Never, that could never happen. Okay? NEVER" I almost screamed. "You're so special to me, you have no idea. You're like my favorite person, I could never ever forget you" I smiled at him and looked straight into his eyes.

"You will, we will never see each other again" Tears started forming in his eyes. No.

"No!" I said firmly. "Never in my life" I grabbed both of his hands and wrapped them with mine. "We come together, okay? I will never leave you, not until I die"

He put on a little smile with tears still threatening to come out "No... I will be a nuisance..."

"Shut up! Look at me" I grabbed his face and moved it upwards. We made eye contact "Never, never never never! I love you more than I love myself and Jihoon could not be more of a nuisance himself"

If that doesn't give everything away, I don't know what will...

He chuckled a little and I moved my hands to my lap. He grabbed a tissue from his pocket and cleaned his eyes, the tears never came out.

"Do you really think he is not coming?" He asked.

"Nah" I replied. I honestly think he is but I can't tell him the truth, if I do, he will probably start crying.

"Sooo, ummm, I mean, in all this time we've been friends," he stuttered "do you still have feelings fo-" midway sentence, a phone started ringing.

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