chapter thirty seven

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' what if's and restlessness'


as promised  <3

as promised  <3

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as a child I was never a good boy, I was a trouble maker, someone who beat up others if I felt even slightly wronged.

I lashed out on everyone, my brothers, our parent - though they deserved it along with the rest of our family - my teachers, other kids, everyone.

Lorenzo was the quiet one of us. the one who was gently and sweet, at least to the public eye. always careful not to be caught with bloodied hands and a grin on his face.

while Alessandro was just careless. for twins they truly were opposites. he didn't care who knew or saw what he did if anything he enjoyed making a mess of things.

though they both had this weird habit of organizing everything around them to the point we questioned if they had ocd or something. things were always neatly placed wherever they belonged and if we moved anything they would instantly move it back to its place.

Dante was the eldest of us, I suppose he fitted the role too. dark and cold with a protective side no one wanted to cross, and an unexplainable love for books. not even interesting books no he read some of the most boring books I had ever seen.

we were strange kids growing up.

I suppose I blame our parents for that, we didn't know as children but as an adult I know- they were not very good children, psychopaths who mix drugs and alcohol usually isn't.

but it made us strong, unbreakable.

until of course she came into out lives. we should've been more careful, been more protective, held her closer, taken her with us everywhere. we were careless.

'' she left, face it !'' maya spat at me.

she was still chained to the chair. she looked horrible with blonde hair and those awful contacts which Lorenzo had taken out along with her eyes that was.

'' yes and I'm a feathery kangaroo '' Katya seethed back she had been with us for the last few weeks doing everything she could to help us get back her sister. '' where the fuck is my little sister?'' Katya asked for the thousandth time.

'' I. don't. know.'' maya spelled out for a blind and soon to be dead bitch she surely had a lot of nerve. Dante moved out of the shadows the shiny knife in his hand dragging across her ugly pathetic dirty skin cutting it open her screams filling the room.

I do not think she knew where our angel was but it did not matter she had helped whoever had stolen her from us.

oh how I wanted to kill every single person on this earth just so I could have my angel back in my arms, kiss her goodnight and good morning, hold her, tell her every little thing about me and hear everything about her. I just needed her here.

if not for the selfishness of my heart then to breathe, to live, to have some sort of purpose to live for.

and I think if she was death, which she wasn't. she couldn't be, I hopes she wasn't. but if she was, and if I found her dead I wouldn't hesitate, I carried a gun everywhere now for my enemies and a knife incase I found her dead, so no one would get to try and save me before I could go join her wherever she went.

Dante didn't stop his torture even when we all knew maya was dead.

I turned around Katya following me not needing to see Dante make an artwork out of the remains of maya and most likely sending the different fuckup parts of her body to Mayas relatives.

no instead she followed me into another cell.

'' kill them, throw a big celebration party for a funeral '' I told katy and the four guards in the room. my mother didn't say anything her tongue had been cut out after all and my father began to splutter bullshit. I wish I would've cut of his younger as well. but I had other things to worry about.

oh my little perfect lillith. what if she was being tortured?

what if she was dead?

no, no, no don't think such thoughts. save her and then you can wallow in your own self pity. I scolded myself.

I hurried out of the basement I needed to be alone.

I needed to focus on something, someone. my lillith.

Alessandro had yet to leave the computer room, his eyes always on those screens waiting for something to pop up. Lorenzo was mostly out praying to god it was trye she had run and that she was at least safe.

I was hunting down every single one of our enemies and tracking them down one by one hoping to find her sooner rather than later.

and Dante- well he was so far gone anything that didn't surround lillith was buzzing in his ears. he was restless like the rest of us.

we needed her here.

'' nic!'' a frantic Alessandro who looked more shitty than the rest of us ran towards us. Lorenzo and Dante must've picked up on the yelling because they came running into the room.

'' I found a signal'' Alex said in almost disbelief. before his eyes turned frantic. his body started to shake slightly. '' she's with victor.'' he added.

oh god no.

my poor baby, please whatever spirit or god is above don't let her be hurt, let her be alright. let her be leverage and let her be reachable.

please, please no.

not her.

she don't deserve that. victor of all people.

oh my poor angel. 

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