chapter thirty nine

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' dirty things like me' 


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my every thought, my every doing and action, every breath I made had been for her.

to find her to have her back but now-

I don't know who to blame, me and my brothers for not being careful enough with her protection, myself for not saving her sooner, victor fucking Ivanov for doing this to her.

our parents for planning this out perfectly. maya for being apart of their scheme.

everyone.

lillith didn't speak to us the entire flight from Russia. she sat in the other end of the jet starring out the window curled up in a ball not moving once. at some point I had walked over draping a blanket around her but she hadn't even glanced up.

I don't think she even noticed.

Katya had been informed of lillith situation and was standing in front of the cars when we arrived in Spain. none of us said anything either. we just studied her. out precious lillith.

she looked so broken. so fragile.

I could see all her bones and her skin was too pale, she looked sick. '' oh lillith'' Katya exclaimed approaching her sister cupping her face in her hands.

but lillith didn't react until katas hands made contact with her face though it was a gentle hold it was not hard to notice the panic in her eyes. '' Katya?'' lillith voice was weak barely a whisper.

Katya wrapped her arms around lillith and my heart broke.

it broke along with lillith facade, when she crumpled and clutched onto her sister shirt, my entire being wrecked when I heard those helpless sobs leave my lillith mouth.

everything was a blur after that to me it was at least. getting into the car. lillith starring at us all appearing to only now realize who we were.

moving her into the house my arm snaking around her waist feeling her body which had become practically skin and bone. her helplessly pleading blue eyes starring into my dark ones.

everything was a blur all I could focus on was that I had failed her.

this was all my fault. me and my brothers fault.

had we just stayed away lillith would've been safe. 




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