Chapter forty-eight: Cornered

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I arrived at my place after getting out of the taxi. When I closed the front door, a deep sigh came out. I never even noticed I was holding that one in. I let my purse fall on the ground right next to me, feeling totally devastated after what happened. What is wrong with me? Why did I let this come so far? I should've just kept them at a distance, then this never would've happened. Two of them wants to leave the country because of me. My hands grabbed my hair out of frustration, letting my head rest against the door shortly after. My bottom lip was trembling out of sadness, yet I prevented my tears from rolling down. I should head to my room, my mom can't see me like this. She will question what's wrong with me, and I just can't tell her the truth. I collected my purse from the ground before making my way towards my bedroom. On my way I passed the small dining table, then I noticed the little note that was lying there.

"I'm out for work, a client called me early this morning. I'm not even sure you'll read this note, maybe I'm already home before you. I'll be back before dinner, but maybe you'll be home later if you're having too much fun with Mr. Park's sons. It's good to see you get along again after we've split up. But if you do read this note, just relax today. Tomorrow, you have to learn for your test week. So, take a day off from school. I'll see you tonight, love mom."

After reading the note, I let my purse fall on the table. I didn't feel like keeping myself strong anymore. I'm alone now, no one around. The tears came out without a warning, I broke down right there and then. I felt my heart decaying inside, as if nothing was left there anymore. My deepest fear became reality, I lost my loved ones. I've hurt them, disappointed them and ran off without a single explanation. My actions made no sense to them in any way. The disappointed faces were burnt on my eye lids, making my heart sank deeper and deeper every time I closed them. It was weighing on my conscience for sure, making it hard for me to breath. My hands grabbed the side of the table while my head lowered. I tried to come back to my senses, attempting to have full control again over my own breathings. At first, I thought it was pointless, my body didn't listen immediately. But after a while I calmed down, I could breathe normal again and no more tears streamed down. My head snatched towards my purse when my phone rang, it sounded distant to me. Almost like my phone was laying in another room. I reached for my purse and opened it, taking out my phone. Without even looking at the callers ID, I picked up.

Yeeun: "Y/N?"

I wiped off the remaining tears on my cheeks. I swallowed first before answering Yeeun's call. I thought for sure I could swallow the lump in my throat and my sorrows away, but that didn't work at all. Why do I even feel worse? Holding back my feelings was never a problem, but now it feels like the walls are closing in on me.

You: "Hey, Yeeun... How are you?"

I tried to sound as normal as possible. My throat went dryer with every word I spoke. My lips pressed onto each other after asking how Yeeun was, silently praying that she couldn't hear that something was off with me.

Yeeun: "Can I come over to your house? I just eat some breakfast with Taeyong, I fell asleep in his car. I don't feel like going home yet. Can you keep me some company?"

You: "Are you still with Taeyong right now?"

Yeeun: "Yes, we just finished our food and I excused myself to the bathroom. He's sweet but I just want to talk with one of you. Eunbin and Sorn aren't picking up. Their phones are turned off for some reason. I'm not sure what happened between Eunbin and Mark. Taeyong can't reach him either."

You: "What about Taeyong?"

Yeeun: "What about him?"

You: "Won't he be offended, if you ask him to drop you off at my place? I mean, he was really worried about you after all last night."

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