The world moves without me (Branch Angst)

Glasses <> promises

Branch's pov:

I followed Floyd silently. My hand still hurt badly but it was bearable. I knocked on Rhonda And opened the door. Floyd followed behind me, I watched up to John Dory in the drivers seat and he was crying. I felt kinda bad.
Floyd noticed John Dory crying and sat next to him.

"Are you alright..?" Floyd questioned.

"I'm just upset... those glasses were from grandma." John Dory whined.

"Look we can get some glue and fix it... it's gonna be alright" floyd comforted John Dory.

"Floyd. Half the pieces of his glasses are inside my hand." I scoffed.

I've been in a bad mood this whole time. I honestly wasn't helping the situation at all either.

"That's fine. We can still put the glasses back together." Floyd spoke.

"Thanks bro..." John Dory tried to hug him.

Floyd hesitated for a second but then hugged him. It was weird seeing John Dory cry. Everyone was so emotional today.

"Branch, I'm really proud of you. I hope you know that" John Dory smiled wiping his tears.

"What why?" I questioned.

That was really random... I guess John Dory was really emotional right now so he's letting it all out.

"All your scars are faded. I'm proud of you bro!" John Dory clapped.

"Oh." I whispered.

I don't understand why those words hurt more then anything. I didn't understand anything. I gripped my hand and whined in pain. John Dory looked at my bloody fist and his face dropped.

"Your doing it again arent you.?" John Dory gasped.

"I'm not. It's nothing." I scoffed

"Oh branch. You need proper help." John dory's grabbed at me

I backed up. The week was repeating itself again... this literally happened last time and it didn't end well.

"I'm fine!" I groaned.

"But that's a lie isn't it?" Floyd chimes in.

I felt like I was gonna puke. I couldn't go through this again.

"Then I'll get help. You can help me" I fake smiled.

There was no point in denying it, I'd let them help me. Even if I didn't want help, I didn't want them to suffer. All my brothers were going through a lot right now, and I've caused half of it.

John dory's hugged me and I hugged back.

"All the pain you have... give it to me. I can handle it" John Dory whispered into my ear.

This was the most painful thing I've heard. I've been hurting John Dory this whole time. The running away, the cutting... the words and I pushing him away. I hugged him tighter. I've been hurting my brothers this whole time. How could I be so selfish. I teared up and cried. I let it all out. And I didn't even think about poppy. I've been hurting everyone!

"Don't cry... I don't want you to cry." John Dory cried.

"I'm so sorry... I'm sorry." I cried back.

"Don't be sorry branch. We love you." Floyd joined the hug.

I hated myself now. My brothers loved me so much they had to watch me because they were scared to lose me. I'm terrible.

"Let's go inside guys." Floyd smiled.

As me, floyd and John Dory went inside. John dory's pulled me aside slightly.

"I'm happy your clean." John Dory smiled.

I didn't want to hear these words. It hurt my feelings. I walked into my room as Floyd and John Dory went to knock on clays door, I guess they were trying to make peace. I wanted to stay out of that. I sat on my bed and cried. I was hurting everyone around me for my own selfishness. I slammed my desk hard and curled up into a corner crying. I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Branch? Are you alright?" Bruce opened my door.

"Just crying... I'm not doing anything bad." I cried.

"Promise me please. Promise me you'll stay safe." Bruce insisted

I traumatised my brothers so much that they couldn't trust me without a promise. I'm such a shit brother.

"I promise." I sobbed.

Bruce smiled and closed the door. A few seconds later I opened the door and peeked out.

"Okay let's talk this out outside guys. Clay and John Dory. It will good to get fresh air." Floyd gestures for them to leave the bunker.

"What about branch? Are we gonna leave him alone?" Clay questioned.

"Oh yeah, he promised me he wouldn't do anything bad" Bruce said cheerfully.

Then I watched my brothers leave the bunker. I loved how Floyd fixed all our family problems. I ran back into my room and flipped the desk over. I picked the desk up and threw it into the wall. I groaned in pain and anger. I cried out loudly. I ripped all the sheets off my bed I pulled down all my posters. I grabbed my phone and slammed it into the mirror, shattering it. I fell to my knees and cried. I couldn't do this. I clutched my chest feeling my heart beat fast. I was in so much pain. I didn't know how to feel, I was ruining our family.

It was never John dory's or clays fault. It was never anyone's fault but mine. I was ruining this family. It was all my fault. These thoughts paced my mind. I picked a piece of shattered glass up and sat in a corner. I looked down at my thigh. And whispered 'I'm sorry.' Then I grabbed the piece of glass and sliced myself multiple times. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over AND OVER AGAIN. My head throbbed so bad as I felt light headed. I watched the blood pour out of my wounds.

"I promised." I whined.

I broke Bruce's promise. I couldn't help myself. I couldn't help what I did. I couldn't let my brothers see this. I would ruin the family even more. I wrapped my own thigh up, the bright white bandages dyed a deep red. I stood up and looked at myself in the shattered mirror. Disgusting. At least all the pain was hidden. I remembered how John Dory looked at my cut hand. Imagine his face when he saw me now. I wouldn't let him. I would keep this family together. I picked up my phone which was also shattered. I called poppy. It went to voice mail. I guess she was busy.

"Hey poppy. I just wanted to let you know I miss you and I love you." I left her a voice mail.

The tears that dripped down my cheeks were complimented by my smile. Then I laid down on my ripped up bed. My room was trashed. Then I called Floyd.
He picked up.

"Hey branch, sorry we didn't tell you. We went out so John Dory and clay could work things out." Floyd giggled.

"It's fine. Hey I might be asleep when you come home. Don't come in my room I get grumpy when people do." I laughed.

I pressed mute on the called every time I felt like I was gonna cry.

"Alright branch, well we will leave alone. Stay safe bro." He chuckled.

"I promise." I lied.

I hang up the phone and slammed my fist in the wall. Then I pulled my fist out and slammed it back in over and over and over and stop. I felt so dizzy at this point I rolled over in my bed and let myself go. I fell asleep.

( I think I went a little insane writing this. Sorry :) )