The world moves without me (Branch Angst)

True feelings.

Branch's POV:

It was the day after Christmas, I was relaxing in the kitchen drinking my favourite coffee brand. John Dory came into the kitchen yawning and stretching his body. I leaned against the counter finishing my cup, I didn't feel complete yet so I went to go and make another cup of coffee.

"You shouldn't drink so much coffee, it's going to kill you one day." John Dory snickered

John Dory definitely had a stick up his ass this morning, I could feel the negative vibe already.

"I hope it does." I groaned

John Dory snatched my cup of my throwing it into the sink, he stood in-front of me so I had to look at him.

"You're 24 years old, when are you going to give up the 'suicidal phase'" John Dory basically interviewed me

I stepped back, where did that come from? I didn't expect such a question, it really put me on the spot. I crossed my arms slightly offended, John Dory was acting like my father. For the record, I don't think it was a phase. I wouldn't describe my feelings as a phase. I sadly had nobody else to blame but myself for my depression. I was completely miserable, my only highlight of my day was my coffee.

"When are you going to stop suggesting I'm suicidal." I growled.

"When you start acting like a happy person." John Dory growled back.

"Well you're wrong, I am a happy person." I rolled my eyes.

"Remember when you ran away. That proves my point exactly. Not happy." John Dory scoffed

"Yeah and you're so sure I did that for the 'kick'?" I gasped.

He was right, I did it for the kick. Running away was probably the most free I have ever felt in my life. The only way I'd describe running away was that nothing hurt anymore, I felt free. Deep down I was scared, scared of being alone. Sometimes I still feel like the same small child I used to be. My heart felt like I never grew up, like I didn't become an adult but more of a tall child. My days felt like loops, nothing special happening. The same thing routine killed me slowly.

"Yeah I know you did." John Dory grabbed my wrist.

"Let go of me man! I'm not doing this the day after Christmas." I coughed

"There seems to be a path with life and death and you stand right in the middle, you're just waiting for a gust of wind to push you either way. And you would probably be happy with either options." John Dory raised his voice.

"I'm not having this conversation again!" I ripped my arm back off him.

I felt our argument getting heated quickly, I pushed John Dory off me as he regained his composure. I could basically fell the flames of anger radiating off my brother. Floyd was probably woken up by how much noise we were making.

"Just because grandma died doesn't mean you have to suddenly take the roll of parent." I yelled.

"Maybe you should have been eaten instead of grandma!" John Dory screamed.

I covered my mouth quickly, when you're angry you typically said things you didn't mean, most of the time it was the deep truth.

"If you were on your own you'd be dead by now! I've saved you countless times. You're useless branch, without me you can't even stand on your own feet!" John Dory smiled cockily

John Dory was just furious, he was smiling like a jackass. Did he really mean those words? The truth finally comes out.

"Maybe your the reason I'm like this! Do you ever realise your the problem?" I scoffed rolling my eyes chuckling. I didn't think he was the problem, I knew this was all my fault. I just needed to blame John Dory for some closure.