The world moves without me (Branch Angst)

Hands.

Branch's pov: (again lol)

I was back in my room, since me and Floyd got back he hasn't said a word. He kinda left me alone. Emphasis the 'kinda part' Floyd would stop by and check in my room about every hour then leave. I really had all the eyes on me right now. It was getting late and I felt pretty tired. I picked up my phone and the light beamed off each one of the walls, it was bright and burning. I scrolled on my phone and saw a message from poppy 'me and viva are returning tomorrow! Did Bruce let you know he's leaving?' I read this message slowly.

Well I did know, but he didn't tell me himself. I guess I wasn't supposed to know. I slid down into a corner of my room and melted into it. I felt so useless right now, like a rag doll. I left out a long sigh and put my hands over my face to cover it. I honestly was starting to miss poppy, somehow my thoughts always landed back to thinking about her. At the start I didn't want her to see me and I kept pushing her away, but right now I needed her. I loved her with all my sad sad heart. I couldn't tell if it was the same for her though. I was starting to feel the depressing feeling of loneliness come back ever so often.

I picked up a shard of glass, not to hurt myself this time but to see myself. I looked pale and broken, I guess that was normal for me. I also looked shockingly pale, maybe from the lack of food I've been eating. I wasn't starving myself on purpose, not until I thought about it. I felt a lot better looking skinny, I never worried about my weight before. But since I've became so depressed all these new problems came up. I wasn't so much interested in hurting myself, well physically. I couldn't Floyd was watching 24/7.

I remembered what I stole from the Bergen's before, I pulled the back of cigarettes out and stared at the box. 18+ was on the front cover. I mean I was a lot older then 18 so what was the problem? I'm a full grown adult. Then I heard a knock on my door. Shit another hour went by!

"Branch?" Floyd asked, walking in.

He looked down at the piece of glass I was holding. But this time I really wasn't doing anything.

"I was just looking at myself... you can take it if you want." I groaned.

He took the piece of glass off me and glanced to the corner of my trashed room, the complete shattered mirror. He picked up the whole thing and took it out. He was really removing all the dangerous items from my room. I stood up and watched him throw it out, then I went into John dory's room, he was fast asleep. He was such a loud snorer I couldn't even explain it.

Then I walked over to his desk, he has his own mirror, it was super dirty. John Dory wasn't a very clean person. Then I saw it. He has the exact same cigarette box! And a lighter. If he smoked why couldn't I? I mean I'll give anything a try at this point. I stole his lighter and made my way back to my room. He wouldn't notice.

Then I realised I was being a idiot! I couldn't light a smoke inside. I could start a fire. I should probably go outside. I walked outside, everyone was asleep except Bruce. I saw him moving a few of his items outside. I was just gonna walk past him but he stopped me.

"Branch I'm leaving in the morning. I have to get back to work" Bruce said sadly.

To his surprise I was in a great mood.

"I heard, have fun Bruce!" I smiled.

I could tell he was pretty shocked on how I reacted. I didn't know what he was expecting? Maybe for me to cry. I just did a small handshake with him and continued to walk outside.

"Where are you going?" He questioned.

"For a walk, apparently it's good therapy." I laughed. I was lying.

"We'll good for you branch, I'm happy your whole 'I'm so emo phase!' Ended huh?" He laughed back.

Oh god! Why did he have to say that. He really doesn't know how to comfort. He left me walk off in trolls town, it was empty. Nobody was ever out at night. I sat on a bench behind a building and pulled out the box and lighter. Then a troll I never saw before walked pasted me.

"Are you branch? The one who saved the world from the rock apocalypse?" The stranger asked in a happy way.

"Yeah why?" I groaned. I wasn't in the mood for small talk.

"Geez, I never thought you'd be a smoker? You're life really has gone to shit." The stranger scoffed and laughed. Then he just sat down beside me.

Who says something like that? I mean... he was right. I kinda just copied what I saw on tv. I lit the end and put it in my mouth. Then I inhaled and coughed out the huge puff of smoke. Yuck that was awful. I held my chest as I tried to bring the air back to my lungs. The stranger beside me laughed.

"You're doing it wrong." The stranger explained.

Then he leaned over me and showed me how to do it, I followed his instructions and it wasn't too bad. I understood why people did this now. I smoked the entire thing, I felt pretty dizzy but it wasn't awful. Then the stranger noticed this, he put his hand on my thigh, not the cut one and dragged his hand upwards. I felt uncomfortable... really uncomfortable. Then he moved his hand pretty close to... I pushed me off me instantly.

"What the fuck dude!" I growled.

"What? Don't be boring." He chuckled moving closer.

I just pushed past him and ran back to the bunker. The walk back felt longer, the cigarette pretty much drained the life out of me. I knew people could get pretty addicted to this kind of stuff but it was only a one time thing. I made my way back into the bunker and stumbled towards my door. I was pretty much limping. Quite embarrassing haha.. then I saw John Dory searching around his room. I looked at the time, I was gone the entire night. I walked into John dory's room and he walked up to me instantly.

"Did you take my lighter?" John Dory growled.

"Why?" I coughed

"Oh. To light a candle." He chuckled.

Then his eyes widened. He looked at me like a deer in headlights. He sniffed around and grabbed my arm tightly.

"You smell like smoke. Where's my lighter branch." He growled more angrily this time.

"Smoke?" I questioned.

I didn't know people could smell the smoke on you? I could barely smell it myself.

"Cigarettes branch! I know you were smoking. I smell it on you. And my lighter is also missing, put two and two together." He hissed.

"We'll you do it too! And I'm a adult! I can do what I want." I grunted.

"I do it because it's a addiction and a old habit. You'll ruin your life!" He demanded.

"It's not like I'm addicted." I mumbled under my breath. Why did he think he was the boss of me now.

"Not yet your not!" John Dory barked.

"Look, If I want to stop I can." I assured him.

"That's what they all say." John Dory snapped.

"And I bet you said the same thing to. Now get off my ass!" I pushed him away and walked in the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror, the bathroom mirror. This was one of the only non shattered mirrors in the whole bunker. I couldn't help but think about that's strangers hands on me. I felt disgusting like it was my fault. I mean I was my fault! I let him do it to me...

John Dory bursted into the bathroom and demanded the lighter back.

"Give it back!" He growled.

"I don't have it! Plus you literally have 5!" I snapped back.

"Oh so you were snooping in my stuff?!" John Dory yelled louder.

I felt my body shake, I was feeling pretty scared. I never saw him this mad before. I've said that a lot. He put a hand on my shoulder and hugged me. What the fuck...

"Look branch I'm only doing this because I care for you." John Dory whined.

I felt relieved he wasn't mad. Then his hands... they started to feel like the strangers hands... I pushed him off me in a instant. His hands... I... whatever!

"Sorry... thanks bro" I chuckled.

"No problem... I... get some sleep alright?" John Dory nodded.