The Pianist || MYG || ✔

Isabella's Diary

AN: I hope that you can listen to the music while reading this... It gives it a little more emotion.

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Dear Diary,

This is probably the last time I'll write to you, so I'm not going to tell you everything we have done today, or since my last entry. I feel a little sad, but I don't think I have the strength anymore. It hurts my wrist to write so much, I'm so weak.

I try not to show Yoongi how weak I feel, but when I am alone, I let myself be true to my feelings.

I know, I did say before that I could never lie about my feelings, but I want to protect him. He's going through just as much as I am but in a different way.

I will be gone soon, and he won't have me anymore. It sounds selfish, but he is the one who has to live on and suffer alone, while I am at peace - and as horrible and dark as it sounds, sometimes I feel that the peace can't come soon enough.

I'm scared of dying, not very many people aren't, I admit, but what scares me the most is leaving him behind.

I love him so much, and I'll miss him so dearly, but I hate to see him suffer so much. And I am suffering. I'm not just in pain from this horrible disease, I'm in pain because he is in pain.

I still have so much to tell him, but I find that I can't get the words out. I'm praying he will find this diary once I have moved on, and he can read all about it. Maybe it will give him closure. I hope he doesn't wait too long to read it.

He is in denial about my condition. He still has hope, and I don't want that. I need him to lose all hope and just accept the fact that I am going to die. I only have a few hopes left, and I pray he fulfils them.

I hope that I pass peacefully while listening to my husband play the piano. There are only two things I have ever been 100% sure of in life; that my husband loves me wholeheartedly and that although he says to me that I am his passion and reason for playing the piano... I am not. He has always loved the piano and all kinds of music, and I may have helped him on his way, but I am not the reason.

So here, my dear husband, are my hopes for you once I have passed.

I hope and pray that you will stay in good health and strive towards being happy.

I hope and pray that you will continue to play the piano, as I have never seen you so purely happy as when you play your beloved instrument.

I hope and pray with all my heart that you are able to let me go and live on. You deserve to move forward and not keep looking back.

I will watch over you if I can, my precious Gigi, but life doesn't always give us what we want.

Please remember that I may have gone, but I will remain in your heart. It is okay if you fall in love with another woman and leave the memories of me in the past.

After all, that is where memories belong.

I love you, Yoongi, and I always will, but please remember that you need to love yourself, as well. I was not your life, I was simply a part of it.

All my love,

Min Isabella

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AN: This chapters piece is "Cold" By Jorge Mendez.