YOU'LL ALWAYS COME BACK TO ME...

CHAPTER 38 - WHAT IF

Elizabeth's POV...

Today is Sunday. I should be outside taking my early morning jog but I was hampered by my lack of sleep. I'm still lying lackadaisically on my bed. I had a dream. I saw myself walking aimlessly alone under the falling autumn leaves. I can't explain how forlorn I was in my dream. Oddly, I felt the continuity of sadness. I carried the weight of my heart in that dream and it was physically heavy as if it was filled with grief over something... or maybe... over someone.

Do I really need to take Abigail's advice? Should I seek a doctor to help me cut loose from these dreams?

I threw a glance at my left side thinking if I should call Abi or not. But it's only seven and three quarters. She must still be sleeping and if I dare call her at this hour she'll  gonna make my whole day a holocaust by her constant nagging.

Then I remember what she said when we were at the cafeteria last time before I headed home. I admit, she left something for me to ponder with. Something that I should start considering and setting as part of my priorities. But what really are my priorities? I can't think of any... though I have material things to brag, a career that gives me confidence, a beauty that the heaven endowed me, true friends I care so much and a life that... that is what??? Why do I feel like my life is incomplete. There is something missing and I couldn't put into words. And then, reality suddenly hit me.

God!! Am I really a living dead? When was the last time I heard my heart beat? I mean, it beats... but not the kind that can give me excitement and happiness. It beats but not the same as what I felt in my dreams.

Wait... I remember something. I sprinted off my bed and went to my closet. I opened a drawer where I am keeping my jewelries that I brought with me when I ran away from home. I pulled out my jewellery box. It was given to me by my grandfather as a gift on my fifteenth birthday. I didn't bring much of my jewelries. Just two pairs of earings, a ring from my grandmother, a bangle that my mother bought me when I was twelve and a necklace.

I opened the last tiny drawer of my jewellery box where I keep that necklace. It  was the only thing amongst those I brought with me that I can't remember the one who gave me. I took it off and the same as always, the odd feeling is there. Odd but very familiar feeling. Everytime I look at it, I can feel how my heart skips a beat like it is a lifeline.

It is a silver necklace with a heart-shaped locket decorated with a stargazer lily. My thumb caressed the elegance of the curved flower. I opened the locket and there was nothing inside. It has been a long time since I kept it and up to the present, it is still a mystery to me. I asked my parents about it but they said they didn't gave this, neither my grandfather. I recall, he was demanding me to throw it. He said it is nothing but a trash compared to the gifts he and my family gave me during birthdays. I didn't obey my grandfather. I kept it secretly and thanks to heaven that I still have it here with me.

I placed the necklace back inside the jewellery box's drawer. And before I close, I gave it another glance of admiration. Whoever gave this to me, I must be important to that person. I can feel it because I am very familiar with the feeling that is winding across every inch of my heart. It's like it is always there lying silently like a placid water and buoys up when triggered by a current.

Current... yes like current.

Then suddenly his face emerged in my head as if I have summoned his presence in front of my vision. Darn! What on earth made me think of him now? Oh yes! The current... that electrifying feeling I had the moment he touched me... but why? I mean, why can he affect me that way? No... no... I can't let myself be lured by that beast. He is so overbearing. Yeah, that conceited billionaire. I know we may share the same sentiments when it comes to our own private life but still it won't diminish the fact that he's the prince of his own turgid temper. Huh! I can still remember how he gave a look of haughty disdain to Mr. Cheng's son when we both came to meet them. What a childish act he made... I really didn't understand what made him act that way. He was like a young boy who hadn't able to spit out all of his tantrums that day and that was very unusual of him.