YOU'LL ALWAYS COME BACK TO ME...

CHAPTER 50 - CONFUSION

James POV...

Damn! I never felt so devastated like this. Seeing her that way, I had to struggle hard not to punch myself for what I did to her. She has no idea what I was talking about. What happened to her?

Her reaction when I brought her in that place. She was dead scared and I felt it. I know she's trying to hide it but her eyes gave it all. She said something about her dream mixing around. What is that? I know that was a long time ago and she was just a small kid so I guess some were forgotten and some were memories. She has no idea who I am but I am so sure she remembered the place. Maybe at some point.

I think I needed to pay heed to her silent struggle from the scrap of her past. She deserves better than this. I love her and seeing her helpless is far worst than a nightmare especially when the sole reason of her misery is me. I admit, I can't look into her eyes because I am not seeing the reflection of me but a damned beast. Honestly, at that hour I was aiming of making her remember me. I know she was really surprised and even more upon seeing those flowers but I felt the heavy burden I had caused her. And I am the one much surprised of the situation around. I was taken aback and I fought hard not to show her. I guess the idea of bringing her there was more for me than for her. That was a real hard slap on my face and it made me realize how deep the wound I had created between our lives.

I remember she said she needs medical help about her having dreams. Now it feels like I am losing the courage to help her when everything is about me. God! I have never been so afraid in my entire life like this! She holds my life and she doesn't even know it. I am hell scared that if she knew that her pain were all about me, she will surely disappear in my life, forever.

My phone suddenly rang. It was Lorenz.

"Hey man, what were those stunts, huh? I thought you couldn't make it since you just arrived from your trip."

"Yeah I thought too but I did, right?"

"What happened? You lose the deal in Balesin?"

"No. Why would you think of the worst? You know I am not the type that would come home without bringing the prize."

"That's it! I know you never fail in a deal, man. It had just confused me why yesterday you made a scene instead of celebrating."

"Where were you that time? If I could remember right, you were nowhere there Lorenz."

"Hey, I was there. You know, when you were occupied by the girl of your dream, you wouldn't probably want to escape from her attention... so in short, I was busy."

"Yeah, I know. You were always the one engrossed filling up one's ass that you don't give a care to the world."

"Whoah! We're talking here about you, not me. So tell me, why did you punch the poor guy?"

"He deserved it! I don't want my staff being harassed in any way by a drunk lowlife."

"Wow! This is a great news! Now you care to your PA, huh. So tell me what's between you and the lady. I saw you danced with her."

"Nothing."

I think I'm not yet ready to tell him about us. He would surely throw teases on me. I am feeling guilty about hiding but I just need more time. Moreover, Lorenz has no idea of our past. I want, first thing, to fix the problem before anyone beside my parents can discover it. I hate my life being intruded and I guess everyone feels the same about it.

"Come on, James! Spill it! I saw the way how you looked at her while dancing."

"Well, I think every man will give her that kind of look just the same. Why not? She's beautiful and single and young and--"