𝗖𝗥𝗔𝗭𝗬 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ━━━ 박종성

10. late night

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And the exam week is finally here. It was about 2am and I still wasn't done studying while Jugyeong already finished and was sleeping now. I felt uneasy and no idea why I felt like that. I closed my book while stretching and walked around the house for a while.

With nothing to do I just thought of going outside for a while. I grabbed two juice bottles and went outside. Our dorm had a small garden thingy outside so I walked all around it. It was so peacefully and now that winter was finally here, it all felt so new to me. I sat on the stairs at the front of our dorm and started drinking the juice while thinking about random stuffs.

"Was I happy?" The first question that came to my mind as I went deep into my thoughts. Suddenly I heard the door of the house in front of me open. I looked at it to see who came out and surprisingly it was Jay. I thought he loved sleeping. "Jiwoo?"
"Oh hey." I waved at him as he came closer and sat beside me. I offered him the other juice bottle, "can't sleep?" He asked accepting the drink while I simply nodded and looked back at the sky again.

"Didn't finish studying. Anyways what about you? I thought you were an early sleeper." "Well you thought that. But yea I got too tired studying." He opened the juice bottle and took a sip. It was cold. And we were just in our pajamas but it sure did give us warmth. "So were you just thinking and staring at the sky before I came?" He questioned me whole I nodded again.

"Yup. I like staying up late at night because it gives me time to think." He looked at me while I kept staring at the sky. "Think about what?" Now I looked at his questioning eyes. "About life I guess."

He didn't speak up for a while. We both just stayed silent and appreciated the beauty of the night. I was just thinking about my past. Painful and lonely. I was pretty sure if Jay wasn't present there right now I would probably be crying enough to fill the Pacific ocean but I guess he stopped me from crying. "Why do I feel like you're feeling overwhelmed?" He finally broke the silence.

"I'm actually. This moment is making me remind of my past. When my parents, Jungwon and I used to gossip till midnight about random things." My nose was becoming red because of the cold air but I didn't mind it.

"So it's supposed to be a good memory, right?" I was surprised that Jay actually seemed interested in the weird stuffs I was talking about at 2am in the morning. "I don't think it's a good memory. Well at first it was. But then after mom dad made Jungwon transfer his school, I was all alone. They got busier and we all never had such nights again. Jungwon was busy with school so I couldn't meet him that much anymore and my parents stayed out of Seoul most of the time. So in conclusion I was all alone and this memory slowly turned into a sad one."

I was getting emotional and my eyes became watery thinking about the good moments I had in my past but obviously I don't wanna embarrass myself by crying in front Jay. I sniffed a bit as the cold started getting to my lungs. Jay just looked at me while I took another sip and looked down this time before finally looking back at him. "Please don't feel bad for me if you're right now. It makes me feel more helpless than I'm already." I shook my head at which he smiled softly.

"I was just thinking how strong you are." He caught my attention. We made eye contact as he nodded again. "Yup. I'm surprised to see how you managed everything by yourself. You were all alone but still strong. I appreciate it." He smiled making my heart flutter.

I blinked a couple times before looking the other way trying to hide my pink cheeks. It was quiet again. We seemed to like this quiet ambience. I decided to break the silence this time. "Hmm now that you know a small part about my tragic past, why don't you tell me something about you?" He thought for a moment before replying to my question.

"Hmm what should I say? So... My parents hmmm they are pretty chill but they are always busy trying to make my sister interested in work and all. But uhh I don't like talking about this so I'll stop here." He chuckled nervously while I showed him a big smile. "I'm glad that you at least opened up in front of me." I assured him that he doesn't have to say anything if he feels uncomfortable.

"I can't believe we're actually talking about these stuffs at 3am in the morning while drinking orange juice instead of studying." I started laughing at what Jay said and so did he. It was all fun and simple again. I breathed out cold air which turned into fog. Why was the weather so perfect?

"Can I ask you something? And you have to answer truthfully." Jay asked all of a sudden while I nodded again. "Hmm sure."
"Do you get affected when people tell us that we can be a cute couple? I mean like you know, nowadays-" his question was sudden but it didn't really disturb me in anyway. "I don't think so. I mean yea it catches me off guard sometimes but I can't stop the people from saying what they want to." I slightly chuckled looking at the ground.

"It would affect me if one of us liked the other one which I don't think will happen." I just smiled lightly thinking if there was actually someone who liked me, the actual me and not just my looks.

"What makes you think that I won't like you in the future?" Now I was caught off guard. I stared at his eyes without blinking and so did he. My heart skipped a beat at Jay's question. But I knew what to answer. "You won't like me."

"And why is that?" "Because.. I don't know really. Once a guy I used to like told me that guys prefer girls who are quiet, soft, caring, pretty and keeps others over herself such as Jugyeong. That was the last time I dated anyone. I can't be like Jugyeong, no matter how hard I try." My heart. It was starting to pain all of a sudden. I continued looking at the ground with a sad smile on my face while Jay stared at me.

"Whoever said that is an asshole and he for sure can't understand other guys. You know all guys aren't dumbshits like him." I stared at him as he continued. "And I wish you don't compare yourself with anyone anymore. Everyone has their own uniqueness. And those who don't appreciate it are losing a lot in life because of that. Love yourself, okay?."

"And as for me, I prefer girls who like my personality and not my looks. Just this one thing and it won't take me a second to fall for them. Anyways I'll go now. We have a test tomorrow remember. So we need sleep. You better go now as well." Jay stood up and so did I. He ruffled my hair giving me a big smile and went inside his dorm finally. I just stood there for a moment.

"Why do I feel different?"

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This one is one of my favorite chapters I have written. Like some parts were so heartwarming, I died.
Also did y'all see enhypen's relay dance???? And also the arirang performance. Jake's english "SHALL WE GO CHECK IT OUT?" why am I alive? And also Jay speaking English is the end of me. Also did you see the new video where they do aegyo. JUNGWON AND HEESEUNG SNAPPED THERE. Last but not least STREAM GIVEN-TAKEN pretty please.
Also sad but updates are gonna be slower from now on :((
Anyways hope you liked this chapter and see you soon in the next chapter ;)