Too Many Secrets

Chapter 14

We walk into the house and I'm ready to shower and go to sleep. I think I can skip a night of homework. As I start walking up the stairs I try to focus on keeping my eyes open so I don't fall. Right when I'm about to open the door to my bedroom I hear footsteps from down the hallway. I turn my head slightly to see who it is. It's Jake. I have a feeling he is here to talk to me so I don't go into my room just yet.

"Skylar, can we have a quick chat? I know you're super tired and want to go to sleep, but this is important."

As he walks closer to me I think he saw my condition because he tells me to go take a quick shower first.

I give him a quick response and walk into my bedroom. Today felt like the longest day ever. Things have been pretty bad for the past three days but today made up for it. Basketball really is the cure to everything. And maybe my brothers.

I take off my clothes and throw them into the laundry basketball and turn on the shower. As I wait for the shower to heat up I see the mirror slowly fogging. I wipe the glass with my hand and just look at myself for a few seconds. I don't look too good. My eyes are barging out of my face and my skin looks like it is falling off my body. I decide to stop pointing out all my imperfections and go into the shower.

Once I finish I dry myself off and put on comfortable sweatpants and a tank top. I never used to wear tank tops when I lived with mom because I was never sure when Nick was over. He always looked at my body and it made me very uncomfortable. This was the first time I wore one since... I shake the thoughts away. Remembering all those memories just makes me feel like it's happening all over again, and I never want that to happen ever again.

I run a towel through hair so it's not dripping on the floor and leaving a trail of puddles behind me. When I am finally done getting dressed I leave my room on a hunt to go find Jake. I go to the kitchen first and peek through the doorway. There he is talking to Dylan about something. I try to eavesdrop but Jakes sees me and immediately stops talking about whatever he was saying.

"Hey, I heard about tryouts. Ben said he did amazing," Dylan says with a small smile painted on his face. Wow a compliment from Dylan. I better cherish this moment because I doubt it will come again soon.

"Um, thanks," I respond, trying to hide how happy I truly am.

"Skylar, I think we have much to talk about," Jake says, ruining the moment.

"Yeah, I guess we do," I answer.

"Dylan," Jake orders.

He understands exactly what Jake is telling him to do so he leaves the kitchen without a word. And now there are two.

"Do you want to start or should I?"

"I can start," I say, having a little more confidence since the last time we had a talk together. "I just want to say I'm sorry I should have told you what I was going through, I just didn't want to bother you with my-"

"Before you continue, your problems are our problems. I know Dylan and Ben told you this earlier but you need to come to us when things like this happen to you. We need to know because we care about you. We love you Sky and we only want what's best for you." Jake finishes and my heart words. I think my face is starting to crack from the huge smile that is on my face right now. I don't know how to respond so I let him continue the conversation.

"Also, I have been talking to Cole about your nightmares. We think you should see a therapist. It's completely up to you but we strongly recommend you see one. What are your thoughts about that?"

I didn't think we would be talking about this. Maybe it will be a good idea. I mean, I love my brothers and all, but they are not easy to talk to. "I think that would be a good idea too."

"Great. Would you like to start next week? There is a great therapist at the hospital Cole works at."

My eyes widen and my heart clenches at the word hospital. I got the worst news of my life in a hospital, I don't know if I'm really for that yet. "A hospital?"

"Yes. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Um, no. It's okay."

"If you aren't ready you don't have to go. We think it will be better if you can talk to someone that isn't us. But you can always talk to us."

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course. Take your time."

There is a slight pause of awkward silence before Jake breaks it again. I understand why he wants me to see a therapist. They are not able to handle my trauma. They aren't professionals and don't want to make things worse, but I'm not ready to step foot into a hospital. It might not be the same place where mom died, but it's the same idea. It's the place where she took her last breath, and where held her hand for the last time. I shake my head and try to get rid of the emotion that is about to fall from my eyes. This grief thing tends to sneak up on me too much.

"Now that you're down here, what would you like for dinner?"

"You cook?" I couldn't help the words that just came out of my mouth. There was no stopping them. I never would have imagined Jake, the big, muscular, businesslike man, in an apron making dinner.

"Yes I do," he responds, trying to keep the amusement out of my voice. "How does lasagna sound?"

"Perfect," I say, with a huge smile on my face.

Jake immediately gets up from his seat and grabs ingredients from the fridge and pantry. Lastly, he put on a pink apron that you would see a grandma wear. I can't help but let a small giggle escape my mouth. Jake looks back at me and tries to keep his stern businesslike face intact but fails miserably and starts laughing too.

"Want to help?"

"Sure," I answer through my laughs. I love cooking and I haven't done it in a while.

He bends down and grabs another smaller pink apron and hands it to me. I put it over my head and tie the string around my waist.

Once the noodles are ready he places them perfectly in the glass pan. I layer the sauce and cheese and he puts the noodles. It's a perfect system. Who knew Jake could be fun? I certainly didn't.

Jake places the pan in the oven and sets a timer. While we wait for the food to be ready Jake starts asking me questions about tryouts. He tells me that Ben speaks very highly of my skills, which puts a huge smile on my face.

After half an hour just casually talking with Jake the timer beeps. We call down the boys. I grab some plates and napkins from the cabinet and set the table. Jake gets the cups and utensils and we work together in harmony. Somehow all the boys come down at the same time and it sounds like a stampede of elephants are coming down the stairs. I can't help but giggle at how crazy Ben and Dylan look fighting to get into the kitchen first. Dylan wins and sticks his tongue out at ben. They might be 18 but they are five year olds at heart.

We have a nice dinner and small talk but by the end I can barely keep my eyes open. I ask to be accused and then go to my room. I go into the bathroom, brush my teeth, and jump into my bed. The blanket is perfectly cool and my pillows are in the perfect position. Before I can even go over today's events in my head I am fast asleep.