Too Many Secrets

Chapter 28

I can't believe I just agreed to meet with a therapist. I've obviously never had one before. What should I say? Does she talk first or do I? What if my therapist is not she but he?

"What are you thinking?" Jake asks.

"Is my therapist going to be a girl or a boy?"

"What would you like?"

"Um," I stutter, "a girl, please."

"I can set it up right now," Jake says, taking his phone out of his pocket.

"Wait, like right now?" I ask, feeling nervous.

"Yes, she should be free today to have your first meeting. Is that okay?" He asks.

"As long as it's after school."

"You are not going to school today," Dylan intrudes.

"Why not? I am okay. I told you I will see a therapist, what else can I do?"

"Maybe meet with her first?" Dylan mutters. I hear Jake kick him from under the table. Sometimes I forget how young Jake actually is.

"How about you go to the meeting, that is in an hour, and if you are still feeling up to it you can go to school." Jake says, trying to create a compromise.

I think for a second. Today I have math during the last class of the day, so that means I don't have to miss another test.

"That works for me."

"Great. You go shower and get ready for the day and I'll call you when we are about to leave."

I get up from the table and make my way to my room. I heat up the shower and hop in. The hot water feels heavenly on my aching body. I haven't worked out in forever. I cannot remember the last time I lifted a weight or even ran a mile, let alone run for over an hour.

"Sky, are you ready?" I hear Jake knocking on my door.

"Um, in a second."

Not realizing how long I was in the shower, I quickly turn off the water, towel myself dry as fast as possible, and throw on the first outfit I see. I kick on my shoes and tie the laces really fast. I put together all of my notebooks and textbooks and shovel them into my backpack. Throwing my backpack over my shoulder, I breathe out an exhausted sigh. That was the fastest I've ever gotten ready. Opening my door, I see Jake waiting across the hall.

"You ready?" He asks.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

We head downstairs and out the door. He pulls out his keys and I hear the loud beep echo from the parking garage. His beautiful matte black car lights up as I walk towards it. I open the passenger's side of the car and hop in. Jake climbs into the other side and puts his seatbelt on. He puts the shifter to drive and suddenly I feel a pit in my stomach, like a thousand monkeys are jumping up and down inside me.

I think I'm starting to regret my decision. I don't think I can do this. What if she thinks I'm crazy? What if I'm thrown into a mental institute?

"Hey, Sky, you're going to be okay. You can do this. I promise you, if you treat this seriously, she may actually be able to help you. It may take weeks or months or even years, but it really could work."

His positive reinforcement is slightly helpful, but it still feels like an elephant is stepping on me.

"I know this will help me. But," I pause, not wanting to finish.

"But what?" Jake asks.

"What if it doesn't work? What if this, whatever this is, is endless?"

He turns his head to me. His eyes are scrunched together and there are worry lines on his chin and forehead. Jake picks up his right hand slowly, so I can see what he's doing, and places it on my shoulder.