Too Many Secrets

Chapter 19

My alarm wakes me up ringing. I quickly jump out of bed realizing it has been ringing for ten minutes. I look around me and see Dylan still fast asleep on the floor and Ben hanging off the edge of my bed. I can't believe they stayed.

I go into my bathroom and take a quick body shower and get ready. I go into my closet to change just in case they wake up. I shuffle my books that were on my desk into my backpack and throw my bag over my shoulder. Walking down the stairs I hear people talking in the kitchen.

I walk into the room silencing Cole and Zach's conversation. I place my bag on the floor and make my way over to the cabinet to get a bowl for my cereal.

"What are you doing awake?" Cole asks.

"What do you mean? We have school," I answer his stupid question.

"But after last night don't you-"

"I'm better now. Please, I want to go to school," I interrupt Cole.

"You are definitely not fine, but if you want to go to school then I'll drive you," he responds.

"What about Dylan and Ben? Should I go wake them up?" I ask.

"No, they are staying home today," Zach answers before Cole is able to.

"Why?" I ask, curiously.

"We will tell you when you are home," Cole says, his face giving me nothing to work off of.

"Why can't you just tell me now then?" I give him my best puppy dog eyes. Maybe someone will finally crack and I will actually get to know something.

Cole looks at Zach contemplating what to say. Zach shrugs his shoulders not knowing what to say either. Cole then reaches into his pocket and takes out his cell phone. He types something and he is now on the phone talking to someone.

"Hey, can you come to the kitchen please," Cole says into the phone. I assume it's Jake because Ben and Dylan were passed out in my room a few minutes ago.

After two minutes of us just standing there in awkward silence Jake enters the kitchen. I start to get a little worried, what if something happened.

"Skylar is asking questions and I thought it would be better if you are the one to answer them.

"What's your question, Skylar?" Jake asks, scratching the back of his neck. He looks nervous, maybe even scared. That is not the Jake I know. Something is wrong.

"I only wanted to know why Dylan and Ben are staying home from school?" I say.

He glares back at Zach and Cole. His face tightened but when he looks back at me his face softens and his eyes squint.

"Our father is coming home today," he answers.

Those six words knock the wind out of me and I have no clue what to say. My father? I have asked them about him so many times. I thought he might have been dead. Or in jail? I had no idea. But he is coming. Here. To this house. Today.

"W-what?" I stutter.

"I know this is a lot. And I know you must have a million questions and I want to answer them but there are some things that are just not safe for you to know," Jake tells me.

"Safe?" I ask. Jake nods his head to answer my question.

What does that mean? How can something they tell me not be safe? My body is frozen and I can barely think. There is no way I'm going to school now.

"Do you still want to go to school, Sky?" Jake asks. I stare at him for a few seconds before I remember how to speak. But no sound leaves my mouth. I just shake my head.

"Do you want to come to my office to talk about this? He gets here in an hour. We have some time," Jake explains. Still not being able to use my voice I nod my head. He puts his hand on my back and we slowly walk to his office.

We walk up the steps together in the direction of his office. Once we get there I sit on the couch and he sits on the chair next to me. I think he is trying to give me as much space as possible.

"I have a father?" I ask. My inner thoughts may have come out of my mouth because Jake starts to answer.

"Yes, you do. We all do."

"Then where has he been all this time?"

"He's been away on a business trip."

"So his business trip was more important than seeing me?" Crap I didn't mean to say that out loud either. Get a grip, Sky. I mean I do kind of want to hear the answer to my question.

"No, Sky. That's not it at all. I never want you to think that. Dad has never been the family type of guy. When we were kids he was never really around. Deep down we all know he loves us and cares for us but I think it's just hard for him to show it." He takes a second to catch his breath. "After you left dad got really depressed and he drove into his work to distract himself from the sadness he felt. For the first month he never even left his office. He had people deliver food to him and he slept on the couch. He didn't want to see any of us for so long. It took me a really long time to understand that it wasn't my fault. Dad loved us so much but he couldn't handle losing his babygirl."

I look up at him because it seems like there is more he wants to tell me but can't. He moves from the chair to sit next to me on the couch. He looks at me to see if I'm okay before he rubs my back up and down. I'm in so much shock that I have nothing to say. Jake opened up to me. The cold, scary, giant actually has emotions. How can a father abandon all of his children? I don't understand. They needed him. I don't remember anything about my father. But from what Jake just told me I don't want to know him. A father doesn't leave his kids.

After digesting all the information that Jake has told me I fall into his chest. He seems stunned at first but eventually he wraps his arms around me. We stay there for a few seconds before Ben barges into the office.

"JAKE!! Oh crap you two were having a moment," Ben says as he opens the door and slams it against the wall.

"Well not anymore," I laugh.

"It's ok, I can come back later," Ben says

"I think that would be best too," Jake agrees.

Ben leaves and closes the door behind him. Well now this is a little awkward. What do we do now?

"Well now that I answered your questions, can you answer mine?" Jake asks.

"Yeah," I say, nodding my head.

"It's about last night. You had another nightmare, do you remember." He stops and I nod. "I think it would be best if you start seeing a therapist now. What are your thoughts?"

"Okay. I think I can do that."

"Great. I think I'm learning. I really don't want to make you say something that you don't feel comfortable sharing with me. But I think you can really open up to a therapist. I want you to know that everything is confidential. Anything you tell the therapist will not get back to us. It's between you and them. But if you ever want to talk to me or one of the boys you always can."

"Do you want to talk about last night? If not, it is totally fine," Jake finishes.

I'm not really sure. After everything he told me it's only fair for me to reciprocate. I just don't want him and the others to see me differently once they know the details of those awful nights.

"It's okay. I think I can talk about it. It was one of the nights that Nick's friends came over. They were always in the basement drinking. They were all drunk and that night I was in my room doing homework. I went to the kitchen to get something but I stubbed my toe. Stupidly I let out a small shriek and then they heard me. It was all history from there."

I didn't know how good it would feel to open up to him. He didn't make one disgusted face. He didn't even look sympathetic, which is good. I don't want his pity.

"I have one more thing to tel you before he gets here. You can't be alone with him."

I open my mouth to ask a question but Cole comes in. Do they not know how to knock?

"Knock much?" Jake says. Hmm great minds think alike.

"Sorry dude, but dad is here."