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"How the most dangerous thing is to love"
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Haley's funeral was a week after the entire incident. Many tears were shed by everyone on the team, all feeling Haley's loss deeply. It was a death that nobody saw coming, not even Bella. It was something that no one was expecting to happen.
Seeing Hotch so broken absolutely devastated Bella. She had never seen him so upset in his entire life. Seeing people she cared about at their most broken seemed to break her just as bad. It wasn't fair, bad things shouldn't happen to good people.
The team had been on edge, taking a much-needed break from catching unsubs and traveling across the country. Bella allowed herself to catch up on sleep and try to get out as many tears as she possibly could. She found herself tossing and turning each night, her nightmares consisting of Haley's fear-stricken voice as said her final words and took her final breaths. She saw the image of Haley's dead body over and over again. Each night she would find herself sitting up in bed after these nightmares, sobbing to herself. One night she ended up driving to Spencer's, stumbling into his apartment and knocking over a coat rack. He quickly came out of his bedroom with his gun raised, expecting to see a burglar standing there. Once he saw it was Bella, he put the gun down and escorted the broken girl into bed.
He would hold her every single night, listening to her cry softly or whispering kind words to her to try and help her fall asleep. Bella preferred having her nightmares when she was with Spencer. When she would wake up screaming she would always be comforted, reminded that the person she still loved was alive and next to her.
After Haley's service, Spencer watched as Bella walked off on her own. He furrowed his eyebrows, excusing himself from the group of people he was talking with and following after her. He watched as she slumped onto a bench net to a tree, sadness in her eyes but no tears falling.
"I just needed to breathe," Bella answered. "This is all...this is all too much."
"I know," Spencer answered, sitting next to her and pulling her into his shoulder.
"Do you think Hotch is ever going to be the same again?" Bella whispered.
Spencer sighed, wondering the same thing, "I have no idea, sweetheart. But, he's strong. He-he will be hurting but he will survive this. We will all survive this."
Bella nodded and felt the warm sun on her skin as she snuggled in closer to Spencer. She hated funerals so much. She hated that they happened so often in her life. She wished that everything would just be peaceful. But, she knew that with her job she would never get this wish. Blinking away some tears, she closed her eyes tightly.
"Tell me some things that are good," she said quietly.
