Elements of Fire

76. Ruffling Thoughts -2

Four months had gone by. She propped up her head on her hand while extending her other hand to Sanitha's head combing through her hair. Till now, she had not let the kajal lining her eyes that she knew intensified not just her beauty but also her fury, to smear in long dark trails across her cheek if she could help it.

Like the meticulous knots she braided her hair into, she had kept her innermost pinings and wishes tied up carefully in the deepest crevices of her minds, some so tight and some so hasty, she wondered if she could ever unbraid them again...without assistance in the most.

But now as she lay quietly, nestled in the tranquil domesticity of the moment, she could not stop these deep, concealed pages of her life to be ruffled, making her pause on the course she herself had set out on, one that had no clear mark or milestone. A sigh escaped her lips.

Only the varying songs of the air be it the breeze swirling through the windows and balconies or the gentle breathings of the two little sleeping girls engulfed the silence of the chamber when the door creaked.

Draupadi blinked in confusion, a subtle frown on her lips. She had sent the servants out, not wanting to cause discomfort to the little girls not accustomed to such overabundance, and there was only one other person than her who could enter the chamber without knocking. And he would never do so unless for a reason defined by certain enormity, not even if in his own chamber when she would be there.

Her ears registered the nearing of the cautious footsteps, a graceful turn of her head almost simultaneously to meet her husband's surprised awkward eyes with her own unsurprised but questioning eyes.

"I came to draw the curtains and shut the windows", came his soft nearly hushed voice contrasting the strong look of astonishment and incomprehension his wife was throwing at him leading him to launch into a better explanation, "Um...did you not tell the girls that room is magical, the windows and curtains close by themselves when one sleeps here."

Karna did not miss the gentle parting of her lips coupled with the softening of her eyes despite her incredulity. Draupadi fondly recalled the little bribe she had used to get the little ones to take their afternoon nap.

"Aarya? You could have sent a servant for the task if you felt it was so necessary" she said, "I do not think the children will even remember the bribe."

"Oh you are right but they trusted so much so..." he mumbled casually supporting himself against the footboard of his bed now occupied by his wife and two adorable children, "They believed and accepted what I said...what you said..."

"That is so kind of you Aarya" she answered sitting up more, smiling wider while laying a gentle hand on the youngest girl's forehead.

She could not help but genuinely admire the man before her although a simultaneous painful realization registered in her mind that this man had always craved for acceptance and affinity to be met only with rejections on most occasions whatever they be, even these little sporadic moments he valued beyond she could comprehend. Being a princess looked upon in awe since birth, commanding the attentions of highest ranking men and women, drawing respect and awe as the once regal empress of Aryavart, perhaps she never would comprehend.

'But why do I want to understand?' she wondered blinking at her husband who stood wordlessly forth her, his gaze never leaving her. She wondered what he might be thinking but she barely knew enough of her husband to read him.

Karna had a hard time keeping his eyes fixed on her face and not let them rove. It was like the mornings he would wake up to her sleeping figure on his bed expect now she was awake and gazing at him, each in complete consciousness of the other. She was denuded of her jewels and fussing over the two sisters cradled in the arms of Morpheus, the situation exuded domesticity and warmth, engulfed in a serene ambience.

"I will have to drop them home before sunset" he said, half unwilling to rupture the comfortable silence deluging the moment, but did not want to make his wife uncomfortable. He did not fail to observe the immediate faltering in the prior smile gracing her lips.

Draupadi did not know why the little statement from her husband caused her to wince internally. She looked over at Suritha, her eldest daughter Suthanu was nearly the same age and her marriage was supposedly to be arranged soon. The fire born princess tried to fight of the sadness from washing over her craning her head more to see the girl better while nodding without looking at Karna.

"They can come anytime they wish to" Karna offered on seeing her changed expression, "I will have someone pick and drop them here whenever they want or your want Panchali."

"Thank you, Aarya" was all she managed to say, not trusting her voice to not break or even lash out.

"Uh...I should get to work" Karna mumbled awkwardly, heading to the windows untying the gold threaded ropes holding together the long heavy crimson fabrics hanging down. He lookedout, one of his important spies was scurrying through the pebbled paths of the royal gardens and in no time he too was hurrying down.