Elements of Fire

44. Reassuring Doubtfully

Karna stopped in his tracks as he entered his chamber. This time there were no flowers or candles giving it a serenely beautiful look but only his wife standing near one of the tall windows, looking out, her back to him.

He coughed lightly to bring her attention to him. She startled before turning around to face him, gazing at him carefully.

"Aarya I was—"she began walking towards him.

"Draupadi, I think I told you to go to your chambers" Karna interrupted her "And this clearly is not yours."

"Enough Aarya" She stated yet firmly, her eyes fixed on him unwaveringly "This is as much my concern as it is yours. He is my father and this... this change..."

"This change was completely unexpected by you" Karna said gently "You were imagining an emotional reunion but not this, right?"

Drauadi nodded looking away from him. She now understood her husband's concerns and apprehensions. The dice game had immense consequences and she was just beginning to see some of them.

A foreboding dread passed through her. If her father could change this much, then what must her dear sakha (male friend) and her sons be thinking of her. Would they ever accept her and her new self?

The pallu( the loose end of a saree usually thrown over the shoulder at the back) of her red saree wound around her constantly restless fingers. Would she be completely alone in the world now? Would she lose everyone whom she held dear before and continued to do so?

"Panchali"

Draupadi startled out of her mental reckonings by the tender endearment of her name. Her husband was looking at her curiously with the usual softness that generally adorned his features when he would be alone far from the madness and stresses of the world.

"Yes Aarya" she answered demurely looking everywhere else except him. She was not alone, she thought, her husband was with her, even if he be the only one she could still live, even happily. He could never betray her, could he?

Karna placed a finger under her perfect conically rounded chin, delicately guiding it up to face him. Her eyes were wide and staring at him in surprise. Beneath her neck, now craning up towards his face, he could see her collar bones etched out sublimely against her smooth skin.

"Panchali" he began gently, taking a deep breath, "Panchali, I know you are upset about what happened today but we all need time to work things out. Tell me is everything perfect between us?"

"No" she replied, cocking her head slightly to her left, "But we are trying and we have progressed a lot."

"Yes even after all these months together we are still working things out. Think of your father, he has not even had a day" he explained trying to lighten her mood, before adding, although not too confidently, "Soon enough your father will also understand."

Now Draupadi squinted her eyes at him, her eyebrows crumpling under confusion, before she quickly regained her regal confidence. Karna wondered if she had sensed the doubt in his voice and chose to deliberately ignore it or resorted to denial to give herself some hope.

"Aarya" she asked "What transpired between you three after I left?"

Now, it was Karna's turn to look away. How could he tell her of Drupad's real motives, his desire for revenge and the apparent importance he gave to his agendas of vendetta over anything else.

That's what Karna could understand so far and the deeper feelings of his father-in-law, those feelings of paternal love and duty, he hadn't yet gauged nor seen him exhibit, and he would not let his wife get hurt, not if he could help it. Draupadi was his responsibility now, if not anything else.

"You were not eavesdropping this time?" he teased, hoping to sway her away from her question.

But of course he knew it was a vain hope he was clinging on to. His wife, the proud and clever Panchali, definitely sensed his attempted digression.

"Aarya don't try to change the topic" Draupadi retorted, furrowing her eyebrows in exasperated annoyance, "Besides I don't eavesdrop- intentionally."

Karna nodded his head mischievously bringing a funny incredulous look to his face. He never thought that this worrying day could, at its close, also give him something so delightful.

"Panchali" Karna said seriously having recovered from his laughs "You just try to make the most of your family's visit to your home. I don't want you to get involved in the politics of we men."

"But Aarya, I need to know" she replied earnestly, "I can help you."

"I have no doubt in your capabilities. The way you handle your royal duties always leaves me admiring, but please Panchali, just for some time now" he pleaded smiling a faint, anxious smile.

"As you wish, Aarya" She replied, albeit nodding reluctantly.

"Good" Karna said, satisfied, "Now we need to rest. You may sleep here or in your own room."

"I will go to my room, Aarya" she replied "Sleep well."

------------------------