Elements of Fire

15. An Incomplete Talk

"Angraj we need to talk about this"

"Panchali don't get me wrong but..."

"No Angraj I feel it is high time we discuss this. We can't keep evading this subject all our lives"

"But we need not do it just now if you don't want-"

"No I want to. Please say everything that's on your mind."

He took a deep breath and looked straight into her eyes.

"Panchali you accepted me now out of compulsion but why did you reject me then? Did you really consider my caste more important than my capabilities?"

She gulped slightly. His face had darkened as he asked those questions. She had expected this. That eventful day had shaped both their attitudes towards each other and now they needed to negate amongst themselves to secure an understanding.

"No Angraj Karna" she said slowly pausing to take a deep breath "At that time I was conditioned to love Arjuna. I was born and Govind filled my mind with Arjuna and I being so young and naïve fell in love with him. I wanted to marry only him and my father too shared the same views as me and Govind hinted on the sons of Pandu and Mata Kunti being still alive so the swayamvar was..."

"Was a ruse to bring Arjuna and the Pandavas out of their hiding, isn't it?"

"Yes. And Govind told me that only you and Arjuna in the whole of Aryavart could succeed in the near- impossible challenge. And watching you aim , my mind was in a turmoil and I blurted out those words without giving a second thought. Maharathi Karna I never rejected you on accounts of your birth but rather because my mind was already on someone else as you rightly pointed out during the swayamvara. Whatever you said that day were absolutely correct."

""Panchali you can't imagine how wounded I was that day. I was so confident and then... All those kings who would tremble before my bow were enjoying my humiliation. They were all looking at you with lustful desires but I didn't even gaze at you until I went to execute the task and I was so confident-"

"I... I can..."

"You don't have an answer do you? How can you have?" he almost yelled "You insulted an invited guest! – Anyway what's the point of talking about the past."

"No Angraj this is necessary. Please vent-"

"Draupadi there are servants outside this garden. They will take you back to the palace whenever you wish to in case you still find it difficult to find your way around here."

And with that the King of Anga departed leaving her behind- a sad, forlorn figure standing in the midst of the heavenly garden with all its flora and fauna dancing happily.