Selene || Remus Lupin

Ch. 23 - The Goblet of Fire

Before Selene knew it, Halloween night was upon them, and she was back in the Great Hall, awaiting the names of the champions that would be participating in the tournament. She couldn't deny that she was a little eager to see who would be chosen. She had never seen the Triwizard Tournament before, the last one taking place before she was even alive, so she thought it would bring about an exciting year, perhaps even distracting her from all of her present troubles.

She took her seat up at the teachers' table, sitting primly between Snape and McGonagall.

"Ready for the festivities?" McGonagall said disdainfully, eyeing Selene as she sat down.

"I take it this entire affair is not up to your tastes," Selene said.

"Absolutely not," McGonagall said. "It's a disaster waiting to happen."

"You never know," Selene said brightly. "It may be fun."

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "At this school? It's never that simple."

Selene couldn't help but laugh.

"So," McGonagall went on in a clear subject change, "are you going to disclose to me as to what has kept you so distracted as of late?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Selene asked innocently, training her eyes on the plate before her as it magically filled itself with food.

McGonagall frowned. "Does it have anything to do with how Mr. Lupin left us at the end of last year?"

Selene pursed her lips. "I suppose it might be."

"Forgive me for being so forward, but I don't think you should let Mr. Lupin affect you in such a way," McGonagall said, raising her eyebrows.

Selene was a little surprised that she didn't have to explain more of the situation, but then again, Remus could be a little predictable.

"I just wish he wouldn't let his – condition – affect his life so much," Selene said quietly, turning her head towards the older woman so that the other professors wouldn't overhear.

"Well, you know, I don't think he has much choice in the matter. It does affect every facet of his life," McGonagall said. "I suppose you're referring to Mr. Lupin's level of self-confidence, though."

"He just doesn't realize how – how wonderful he is," Selene said, and her cheeks colored red. "And he's so ashamed of what he's done to me, but he didn't – he didn't really do it to me, did he?"

"I think what it is, is that Mr. Lupin himself has such a poor view of the werewolf, and he can't separate himself from the wolf enough to have anything other than a poor view of himself," McGonagall said.

"He thinks he's a monster, and that he doesn't deserve a normal life," Selene whispered, her eyes round and sad.

McGonagall pursed her lips. "I always thought Mr. Lupin was brilliant, but I thought he held himself back from being even more. He gets in his own way."

"I just wish he'd see himself the way that I see him," Selene said, "but I don't know how to change his mind."

"You can't," McGonagall said firmly. "He has to change it himself. All you can do is wait for him."

Selene sighed heavily.

"Don't let yourself go while you're waiting on him though," McGonagall pressed on. "Live your life. Be a godmother to Harry. Have some faith, Selene."

Selene smiled gratefully at the older woman. "Thanks, Professor McGonagall."

"Minerva," she corrected, and Selene swore she saw the hint of a smile.