Selene || Remus Lupin

Ch. 86 - Before Everything Changes

"Are you sure you're alright to go, darling?"

Selene was pulling a modest black dress over her head, wincing as the fabric brushed against her still very tender neck-injury, which had been bandaged neatly by Madam Pomfrey. She smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles in the skirt before looking up at Remus.

"I promise, I feel fine, Remus," she said, placing a gentle hand on his chest, "but I'm not missing out on Albus Dumbledore's funeral."

Remus frowned. He was wearing the nicest set of robes he owned, the ones he had planned to wear to their wedding. Selene suspected that he'd never touch them again after this day, though.

Selene turned her back to him, gesturing behind her aimlessly. "Zip me up?"

She heard him exhale, and then she felt his fingers brush against the skin of her back, pulling the zipper up slowly, reluctantly. When he'd let go, she turned around to look up at him.

"Remus, I'll be fine today, okay?" she said gently. "Stop worrying."

His arms encircled her waist, pulling her in close. "I'll never stop worrying about you," he whispered, his face close to hers. "Because you'll never let me."

"Oh, hush you," she whispered back playfully. "I make your life interesting."

"You certainly do," he said, the corner of his mouth pulling up amusedly. "They could write a book about me and you, that's for sure."

"That's preposterous," she said softly. "Who'd read that rubbish?"

Remus laughed.

The funeral was beautiful, as if anyone had doubted that it would be. Selene couldn't say that she hadn't allowed her mind to wander, however, for as she sat silently between Remus and Harry in her seat, she couldn't help but think about her nephew, Draco.

She couldn't forget the look of fear and dread that she had seen on his face when he'd told her that he had no choice but to do as Voldemort asked – that the consequence for his disobedience would be her death, and he wasn't willing to let that happen. There was no way he could've killed Dumbledore. She refused to believe that.

She knew there was good in her nephew.

But how much good would be left after something like this?

Selene had thought that she could prevent Draco's involvement with the Death Eaters, that she could protect him, protect his childhood, his future, but his innocence was just one more casualty of war that she was forced to reckon with, just like she'd had to do with Harry's.

It was a hidden darkness in the idealism of fighting for a cause that no one had cared to mention to her – that in the nasty, overwhelming rationality of war, sometimes when you fought to keep something, you had to sacrifice things in return.

Selene was beginning to wonder if the sacrifice was worth it. No, that wasn't true. She hadn't just begun to; it was something she'd been struggling with for her whole life.

She just hadn't determined her answer yet.

After the funeral, Remus, Selene, and Harry greeted the many familiar faces they saw, and then split off to take a stroll around the Black Lake, hoping for some peace and quiet.

"Mum, Remus, I've – I've got to talk to you about something."

They'd only just made it to the opposite of the lake, having walked in complete silence, when Harry had spoken up, looking solemn.

"What is it, Harry?" Remus asked.

Harry looked reluctant – but resolute. He shoved his hands in his pockets, avoiding their gazes. "I'm not returning to Hogwarts next year."