'' why don't you spread you legs for us and lay on the bed like our own personal feast?''
*book one of the nystrom series*
carmen nystrom, one hell of a menance to everyone in her way. and yet the diamond in her parents eyes.
one party with her si...
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gia was sitting in the kitchen with rico and adonis all whom turned to look at me up and down once i entered. '' where the fuck have you been?'' it was rico he was seething.
he was always the most protective of me.
like a twin was for their sibling. i suppose it had been that since we meet. we had to much of the same trauma to not share that kind of bond. had been by each other sides for too long to not care this much.
and yet i found his outburst uncalled for. '' doesn't matter'' i replied grabbing a water bottle as gia eyed me up and down suspiciously.
i swear she was some sort of empath because no matter how well you hid your emotions, even if no one else could tell she could always tell exactly what you thought and felt.
it was scary honestly.
'' who do we need to kill?'' she asked calmly i narrowed my eyes at her. '' no one'' i snapped to tired to care if my emotions where on my sleeve or not.
'' im setting goals '' i said nonchalantly.
i was. healthy goals? no not really, but goals were goals. my current one was to get that feeling of safety back i had felt this morning. the sense of serenity i had never felt.
or atleast just a fraction of it.
adonis scoffed '' unrealistic ones as always i presume '' he said with a pointed look. i shrugged.
it was true i was a master in setting unreachable goals. like this, winning over the marino brothers, and if not find someone like them able to put me at ease like that.
it was clear being a virgin wasn't going to work for me. not if i wanted someone. i didn't know that i didn't know the first thing about relationships but clearly this was the case.
and even though i didn't want to give up something sacred i ached for the feeling of safety. i needed it.
i was so empty all the time.
i didn't want to be empty.
so perhaps i could pretend i wasnt a virgin that i had fucked more guys than i coudl count. that i had done it all, every sexual act there were.
play pretend i was good at that.
'' dont go fuck yourself up over some guys'' ronnie said as she entered the kitchen having most likely heard out conversation.
i rolled my eyes '' i dont fuck myself up over anyone'' i claimed. lies. dirty dirty lies.
and we all knew it, i fucked myself up for anyone who gave me the least bit of attention. i fucked myself up all the damn time.
my phone rang.
unknown number. one breath, two breaths. '' hallo?''
two words, and my entire body froze my mind all over the place, suddenly scared that i had chosen to leave the kitchen to find solitude in my room.
i was alone.
with the person on the other line of the phone '' little whore''
***
i was sitting by the toilet i couldnt stand up, neither could i move. whenever i did i was forced back here vomiting.
and i feared i would soon be vomiting blood.
wouldn't be the first time i vomited so much there came blood out. my phone was trashed in the sink floating in a bunch of water.
not that it would erase anything.
i wanted that safety again.
but i couldn't call anyone, neither could i move. i was stuck and alone. i closed my eyes tears streaming down my face as memories flooded my mind.
'' little whore'' her voice was harsh like sharpened thorns. her hand cupped my face as she stared down at me.
'' my little whore'' she cooed softer this time looking at me like i was her favorite toy. she was drunk. she didn't mean to do this to me. i didn't even understand what she was saying. she never spoke spanish anymore. only i knew that phrase.
'' my little whore'' she pressed me onto my knees as i sobbed silently. i closed my eyes the first hit harder than the second.
'' my little whore'' she kept repeating over and over again, until all other words was erased from my mind.
'' carmen!'' someone was shouting.
i couldn't move, i couldn't see who it was. but i wasn't alone anymore. i was safe as long as i wasn't alone.
she wouldn't touch me if anyone else was around.
'' i want nicolas and santos'' i whispered weakly. the person now stroking my back and pulling my hair away from my face was saying something.
i recognised him after a while vincent.
he was talking to me but i couldn't even focus on him. only two words rining through my mind.
she was right wasn't she? i was a little whore.
authors note
first of all i know my books are confusing af. but i swear it will all make sense in the end.
you will have to read the rest of the book to understand some stuff. but thats kind of just how i write.
secondly thank you all so much for reading and please vote, and comment.
