'' why don't you spread you legs for us and lay on the bed like our own personal feast?''
*book one of the nystrom series*
carmen nystrom, one hell of a menance to everyone in her way. and yet the diamond in her parents eyes.
one party with her si...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
sometimes when im alone i wonder, i wonder dangeorus thoughts.
such as, perhaps i wasnt evil, perhaps i didnt derserve it, perhaps she was wrong, i wasnt meant for this, i was meant for more.
sometimes i fear i apologised too much to her.
sometimes i think i wasnt a terrible daughter, i wasnt a failure, i wasnt a horrible human being, sometimes i think i was only five.
not tonight.
tonight.
tonight.
tonight i know i am horrible.
i know i am sinful.
i know i am ruined, and broken beyond repair. i know i will not go to heaven, i will not find peace.
i know of how i will never hear heavens bells chime for me, i will never se the sky, i will be used abandoned as always, i know what i am derserving off even if it is so very little.
i know who i am, atleast i think i do, i know me just dont understnad myself. dont underdstand these feelings and thoughts. thoughts that justify me.
i cannot be justified, i have done so much damage. i have been cruel, i have abanoned, i derserve to suffer this way. five years old or nineteen ? what was the diffrence? experience wasnt i still acting like a little child?
i know i do.
but now?
now i think-
what do you wear to be fucked?
nothing perhaps, but like isnt there something before that? where was giana when i fucking needed her?
and who could i ask other than her?
i mean if i asked santos or nic they would think i was just an inexpirienced child who could do nothing on her own. no no i had to figure it out. i sat in the middle of the huge walk in closet they had filled to the brim with designer clothes upon our arrivel here in italy.
'' cara mia?'' i heard a voice behind me.
oh nic.
he was standing in at the door santos behind him. '' why are you sitting on the floor tesoro?'' santos asked softly as they walked over.
i shrugged not wanting to spill my secret.
they wouldnt be able to tell if i was a virgin or not. how would they? wasnt it all the same? virgin or not? i would jsut say i sleept with some guys from school.
yes.
'' are you nervous doll? we dont have to do it tonight, theres no rush, its okay for your first-'' i cut of santos.
