chapter thirty five

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' a killer with a good cause is still a killer '


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i ran my hands over the old wood, it was strange, being back here. 

like a faint memory.

what was i doing here? this wasnt my home, this wasnt anything to me anymore, this was the past, something i buried years ago.

why was i here?

i was alone here.

i stared at the shred. it still terrified me to this day, i hated the shred the shred meant cold, i hated being forced to stay outhere. locked up for days. i was still scared of it to this day. 

years late and i was still scared. how?

i snapped my head to the sound of cries. no. 

no no no no 

no

please no.

not this.

i froze in my spot by the shred. i couldnt move. no. the child stopped crying starring back at me just as horrorfied. 

no. 

no.

no.

no.

no.

no.

no.

no.

let this be a nightmare. i heard voices in the intercom. i didnt move. '' ¿quién eres?'' the kid asked in spanish. her voice was guarded. scared. ( who are you?)

she looked like me. an exact copy. '' carmen'' i whispered lowly my voice wavering. 

i glanced her up and down, she was like me, the same bruises the same cuts. the same horror. i wanted to vomit. she frowned. ''soy carmen'' she said confused( im carmen ) 

i paled. 

i heard voices in the intercom. 

i ignored it all i focused on the little girl. i sat down on the dirty ground by the shred, the little girl walked closer with caution. ''mamá se enfadará si hablo contigo'' ( mum will be angry if i talk to you) she said still walking closer till she was right infront of me. 

she reached her hands out before touching my face carefully. ''¿Cuántos años tienes cariño?'' i asked my voice breaking and tears threatening to spill ( how old are you sweetheart?)

i was as scared as she was.

i was reliving hell all over. this girl was me. 

littreally. 

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