Only For You

Understand You Like I Do

Nickolas' POV

"Ally, why are you sad? Does this news not make you happy" i ask her now that we have a moment alone in our bedroom, after talking to my father.

When she told me earlier that she fainted, i panicked. She hasn't been feeling so well after the operation and so my mind went wild with the worst possible scenerios. 

Then later when Ally got home from the hospital, she looked so down and nervous and I started to feel even worse. I didn't know what to expect.

So when she handed me that paper with her blood test results, i have never been more relieved in my life.

Honestly, before Ally, having a baby was not something i imagined for myself for the near future, putting it in the contract was something i did on impulse and i didn't even think about it much after that. I have never really been careless with a woman, not only have i always used protection, i made sure they met with Christian for a regular birth control plan. But with Ally, all that slipped my mind, it just felt right.

And now that she is actually pregnant, i realise how much i really want this. A baby, mine and Ally's, is the best thing that could have happened to me right now. I want to to share everything with her, and this baby just cements our whole relationship.

I understand her reservations when our relationship was just a contract, but everything has changed, we are completely together now. She may not love me yet, but i know she cares for me deeply, and our chemistry is just on another level, i know over time, i can get her to fall in love with me as i already am with her.

Thats why her unhappiness about this development bothers me so much, because if she is reluctant to have a child with me, then maybe our relationship has not progressed as far as i thought it had, but i need to talk to her so that i can understand her.

After my question, she drops her gaze for a moment then looks up at me.

"What about you? Are you really happy about the baby?" she responds with her own question

"Ally, am ecstatic, i didn't realise till now just how much i wanted this. You and i are going to have a family of our own, i think our relationship is great right now, so ofcourse i want this, i wouldn't want this with anybody else." I confess, unable to withhold my joy.

She smiles "Then am happy too" she responds, taking my hands and kissing my palms.

"You don't mean that. I don't want you to be happy for me, i want to know why YOU are not happy??" i search her eyes.

"Well, it's just that, i never really thought i would have any kids before, you know, the contract. When i couldn't see, i thought it would be hard for me to have children that i would never be able to see, or be able to properly share moments with, so i decided i would never do it.

And i know things are different now and i got my sight, but there is that other operation coming up and i don't know how that will turn out, and I don't even know what i want to do with my life going forward. It's just that everything has just happened so quickly, plus i didn't know how you would react," She sighs and continues.

"but anyway, just forget it, i just realised that maybe am just being silly and ungrateful. I have my sight back, you and a baby on the way, that is far much more than i could have ever imagined i would get in this life, i know am very lucky. Am sorry, i was just a little nervous i guess, but i feel better seeing you all so happy" she explains.

"No, no, don't be sorry, i understand you completely. I guess alot has happened in such a short period of time and its alot to take in, especially after our rocky start." I rub the back of my head and a small silence follows.